Will King has a fine day
Simpson scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers.
OU has a 12-stroke lead going into round 3
He can talk! He can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk
Jayhawks part of strong field
Jumping Kangaroo Rats
100 bucks? For a comic book? Who drew it, Michael Malangelo?
Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball."
What’d you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
If only I were in Springfield, all my friends would be cheering me on. Oh, God, I’m delirious.
Will this be Joel Embiid’s year?
If you stay, you can have anything you want to eat... even some sort of gelatin dish. It’s made from hooves, you know.
Big 12 Championships on tap this week for two teams
According to my calculations, the robots won’t go berserk for at least 24 hours. Oh, I forgot to carry the one.
Oh, come on, Edna! We both know these children have no future!
I don’t know. Pigs tend to chew. I’d say he eats more like a duck.
Look at my "aggieculture" project. It’s a piece of a cow.
Hello, I’m Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true and by true I mean false. It’s all lies but they’re entertaining lies and in the end isn’t that the real truth. The answer is no.
The following neighborhood residents will not be killed by me— Ned Flanders, Maude Flanders...
Both golf teams have a good week
A what if
He can’t hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.
Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo... after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.
Hey, you know what? I could call my maw while I’m up here. Hey, Maw! Get off the dang roof!
BART!! YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK!!!!