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The Weekend Mauling: 8.26.2023

Marge, I have my pride. I’m going to go to night school, earn my high school diploma... and get back my Most lmproved Odor trophy!

F1 Grand Prix of The Netherlands - Qualifying Photo by Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images

The Rock Chalkboard

Imagining what Kansas, UConn and Duke would look like if they won the Cooper Flagg sweepstakes
Cooper Flagg's recruitment is starting to take shape. The top-rated high school basketball player in the country, regardless of age, reclassified to the Class of 2024 earlier this month. According to a report by 247Sports' Travis Branham, three fall official visits are next up on the docket: Duke, Kansas and UConn.

Damarius McGhee’s buy-in to KU’s culture has him in position to make contributions in 2023
Damarius McGhee was one of several Power 5 transfers to join the KU football roster over the offseason. The former LSU defensive back committed to the Jayhawks during the winter and enrolled at KU for the spring semester. After seven or so months of acclimating, McGhee — and some KU coaches — feel he’s in a much better position to compete for playing time in his first season with the program.

Lance Leipold gives the position groups, players that he feels better about following KU's camp
It’s easy to learn a lot about a team when you practice 16 times in a 19-day span. That’s exactly what KU’s preseason camp looked like and it gave Lance Leipold and the KU staff the opportunity to get an in-depth look at the team heading into the 2023 season. Of course, new rules allow for some on-field work in between spring practice and preseason camp, but the camp can serve as a stress test for players, as it’s a long grind that will have its ups and downs so the coaches are able to see who is consistent and who can keep pushing as things ebb and flow.

How KU’s offense is drawing similarities to a high-octane NFL offense just down the road
In the 28 months Andy Kotelnicki has been in charge of the KU offense, he’s helped make the Jayhawks stand out on a national level. With great amounts of creativity rivaling other Power 5 coaches and the stats to back up one of the most efficient offenses in the Big 12 last season, the offense leaves fans brimming with anticipation for what comes next. It equally leaves opposing defenses off balance. And that’s drawing resemblances to one of the NFL’s best offenses just a short hour away from Lawrence, the Kansas City Chiefs.

Notebook: Lance Leipold talks Jalon Daniels' health, special teams and more
The first game week of the 2023 football season is almost here. The KU football program is in the process of transitioning from preseason camp to its traditional game week schedule, while players also get acclimated to being in school again. The timing of the academic calendar and football season is something Lance Leipold really likes. It gives the players the chance to get used to morning practices before class and offers a smooth runway into the season. At past stops for Leipold, the first week of school has also been the first game week. He said that can pose a challenge for the rhythm of the team.

Eraser Dust

Prigozhin: Belarusian president says he warned Wagner boss twice to watch out | CNN
“The first time was when I phoned him and negotiations (were taking) place while they were marching on Moscow,” Lukashenko told reporters in comments carried by Belarusian state news agency Belta on Friday.

Montana counties challenge interpretation of state's property tax laws
HELENA — In the coming weeks, counties across Montana will finalize the property tax bills they’ll send out to residents. Before that happens, though, some county leaders want to see a change in one piece of the property tax picture that’s set by the state – and that’s been fixed for decades.

Bernie Marsden Dead: Whitesnake Guitarist Was 72 – Billboard
The star performed with Whitesnake from 1978 to 1982, and was part of the original band lineup that included frontman David Cloverdale, bassist Neil Murray, guitarist Mick Moody and drummer Dave Dowie. As part of the group, Marsden co-wrote the band’s biggest hit “Here I Go Again,” which he re-recorded with his bandmates in 1987. The track topped the Billboard Hot 100 songs chart in October 1987 and spent 28 total weeks on the tally. He also co-wrote “Fool for Your Loving,” which hit No. 37 on the Hot 100 in 1989.

Thrawn is the rare Big Star Wars Villain who isn't boring
Unlike Darth Vader, who gets things done by killing everyone who disagrees with him or by charging into a situation with brute force, Thrawn is an actual master tactician who is always a few steps ahead of his opponents. That’s an oddly rare trait in the Star Wars universe, even for a military leader, since these are stories where major political policy decisions tend to be made with face-to-face swordfights.

Godfather's Pizza Closing Soon
HELENA — MTN has confirmed that Godfathers Pizza in Helena will be closing its doors for good.

Noel Gallagher Hilariously Answered A Fan Question That An Oasis Reunion Would Depend On Their Hair
“So me… Liam… Well, it’s a funny thing because we’re all at a certain age now,” Gallagher said. “Hair was a thing in Oasis, so we’ll have to see what everybody’s hair is looking like.”

“I’m in no matter what,” he added, before pointing out that his hair is still good. “This is not f*cking going anywhere… I don’t know. Look. Me, Liam and a load of f*cking fit birds.”

School bells ring in the 2023-23 year next week | Daily Inter Lake
Most schools around the valley start the 2023-24 school year next week with some starting in September.

Following is back-to-school information made available by schools.

Missoula doctor charged for dispensing ketamine from an unregistered location | KECI
Dr. William D. Stratford Jr. will pay $85,000 for selling the hallucinogen drug ketamine from an unregistered location without keeping records.

Taco Bell Has Birria Now (Sort Of)... Is It Any Good?
It’s a sad sight and a far cry from birria. Luckily, it tastes better than it looks. After the initial explosion of grease, your taste buds will be met with a savory beef flavor backed by a creamy jalapeño-infused sauce, and Taco Bell’s nutty, creamy, and salty three-cheese blend. The tortilla is super light and crispy — serving as mostly texture and making way for the richer flavors of the ingredients. Dipping the taco in nacho cheese sauce or red sauce doesn’t really enhance the experience, which is unfortunate because this is designed to be a dipping taco.

Bronny James' cardiac arrest caused by congenital heart defect
“After a comprehensive initial evaluation at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center led by Dr. Merije Chukumerije and follow-up evaluations at the Mayo Clinic led by Dr. Michael J. Ackerman and Atlantic Health/Morristown Medical Center led by Dr. Matthew W. Martinez, the probable cause of Mr. James’ sudden cardiac arrest (SCA) has been identified. It is an anatomically and functionally significant Congenital Heart Defect which can and will be treated,” said the spokesperson.

15 Funniest Quotes From I Think You Should Leave
Season three had some incredible jokes and lines, but the best is undoubtedly in the drive-through pay-it-forward sketch. In a scam to get as much free food as possible, Tim Robinson starts a pay-it-forward chain at a drive-through, only to get back in line and order "55 burgers, 55 fries" and an obscene amount of other food. While this is a hilarious concept on its own, the signature I Think You Should Leave absurdism and delivery makes this a joke for the ages and one that will be quoted for years to come.

Restaurant Workers Share Negative Experiences With The Tuohys & Call Them Terrible People | YourTango
"I worked at a fine dining establishment in East Memphis and came here to say the same. Out of a lot of rich, entitled, stuck up nightmare regulars we had, she was easily one of the worst," someone else added of the Leigh Anne. Others agreed and one person even stated that the family took being entitled to the next level.

Gianforte asks judge to dismiss lawsuit challenging SB 442 veto
Gov. Greg Gianforte is asking a Lewis and Clark County district court judge to dismiss a lawsuit challenging his veto of Senate Bill 442, major bipartisan legislation from the 2023 session that reallocated marijuana tax revenue to conservation and county road projects.