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Breaking: Multiple Sources Confirm #kufball and #kubball Teams Are Ready for the Weekend

You, Smithers? Oh no, my dear friend. I’ve planned a far greater reward for you. When I pass on, you shall be buried alive with me

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Beef Sandwhiches Staff photo by Brianna Soukup/Portland Press Herald via Getty Images

The Rock Chalkboard

Realignment battle lines continue to be drawn by conference commissioners; it's adjust now or regret it later | Tale of the Tait | Mobile
College athletics is in the middle of a major shift. Rules have been erased and restrictions lightened. Players are now able to cash in on countless name, image and likeness opportunities. And rosters, in all sports, are being reshaped at the college ranks the way free agency redid the look of pro sports.

As others look for more wins, Kansas football coach Lance Leipold continues to emphasize importance of establishing solid foundation | Mobile
"Our players have really embraced it," he added. "We understand, and we emphasize as well, that we're not in the moral victory business. We understand that completely, but we're always looking at, whether it be individual improvement in certain things or how we've gone about our daily business and, really, how we've connected dots with our players about becoming better holistically, whether it be weight room or academically and being better leadership, better teammates, that these things are going to stack upon themselves and help us on game day."

KU golf standout Luke Kluver transferring to Oklahoma | Mobile
“We’re incredibly excited to add Luke to our family,” OU coach Ryan Hybl said in a press release announcing the addition. “We know the type of player he is and what he brings to our program is invaluable. We can’t wait to get going.”

Kansas football lands commitment from 3-star defensive end in the Class of 2023 | Mobile
He waited and returned to Iowa with his family on Tuesday night. The next day, he called KU defensive line coach Jim Panagos and KU coach Lance Leipold and pledged his services to the Jayhawks. Analyst Oscar Rodriguez Jr. was the first to pass Herold's name and film to the rest of the coaching staff.

Eraser Dust

Is Nathan Fielder Sorry? | The New Republic
A few years ago, at a bar on Toronto’s Ossington Avenue, I had the good fortune to see Nathan Fielder sing Kate Bush at karaoke. A veteran of the city’s comedy scene, Fielder was returning as something of a conquering hero. His Comedy Central series, Nathan for You—in which he played a fictional version of himself, promising to revive the fortunes of struggling L.A.-area businesses with outlandishly elaborate promotional schemes—was a critical hit. Watching the stone-faced Fielder wail the lyrics of “This Woman’s Work” (“I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show”), I couldn’t help but wonder: Is this for real?

Inside the secret Manchin-Schumer deal: Dems shocked, GOP feels betrayed | The Hill
The announcement of the deal, which would raise $739 billion in new tax revenue, fund an array of new climate provisions and pay down $300 billion of the federal deficit, came as a complete surprise to their Senate colleagues.

Jon Stewart rails against stalled PACT Act: 'This is bullshit' | CNN Politics
Stewart apologized for his foul language, but then outlined what the senators were voting against, with a veteran saying the bill “gives them health care, gives them benefits, lets them live from become an addict, keeps veterans from committing suicide.”

Charter cable must pay $7 billion for woman killed by cable repairman
A Texas jury has ordered Charter Communications to pay $7 billion in punitive damages to the family of an 83-year-old grandmother robbed and murdered by a cable repairman who arrived in the company’s van while off the clock.

Justice Alito mocks Prince Harry, Boris Johnson for opposing Roe reversal
“I had the honor this term of writing, I think, the only Supreme Court decision in the history of that institution that has been lambasted by a whole string of foreign leaders — who felt perfectly fine commenting on American law,” Alito said, prompting laughter from the crowd.

Shakira Faces Call For 8-Year Jail Term In Spain Over Tax Fraud Charge
Barcelona: Spanish prosecutors said Friday they would seek a prison sentence of more than eight years against global music superstar Shakira, after she rejected a plea deal on accusations of tax evasion

Kalispell woman accused of using pepper spray on roommates | Daily Inter Lake
Warner’s three roommates contacted authorities following the alleged attack and deputies with the Flathead County Sheriff’s Office found evidence of pepper spray use at the Anderson Lane home upon arrival, court documents said. The roommates described Warner as drunk prior to the assault, “ranting and raving” about the supposed theft of her alcohol, court documents said.

Paving Kalispell’s Future - Flathead Beacon
“It’s been over 100 years since that railroad first came and drove the economic growth in Kalispell and the Flathead,” Kalispell Mayor Mark Johnson said at the July 21 ceremony. “Now the Parkline Trail is a centerpiece to downtown Kalispell—we have a safe route through town, recreational opportunities and open opportunities to spur redevelopment downtown.

Ben Affleck’s Batman will return for Aquaman 2 - The Verge
Ben Affleck is reprising his role as Batman in the forthcoming Aquaman sequel, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. His return was announced by the film’s star Jason Momoa in an Instagram post, featuring a selfie of the two actors. “Reunited,” Momoa wrote. “bruce and arthur. love u and miss u Ben WB studio tours just explored the backlot alright. busted on set all great things coming AQUAMAN 2 all my aloha j.”

Heaviest neutron star results after devouring companion star | CNN
Called a neutron star, the dense, collapsed remnants of a massive star weighs more than twice the mass of our sun, making it the heaviest neutron star known to date. The object spins 707 times per second, which also makes it one of the fastest-spinning neutron stars in the Milky Way.

NASA revises Mars’ sample return plan to use helicopters | Ars Technica
On Wednesday, NASA announced that it had made major changes to its plan for returning samples from the surface of Mars in the early 2030s. Currently being collected by the Perseverance rover, the samples are set to be moved to Earth by a relay of rovers and rockets. Now, inspired by the success of the Ingenuity helicopter, NASA is saying it can lose one of the rovers, replacing it with a pair of helicopters instead.

ImagineIF staff honored for response to challenged books | Daily Inter Lake
Librarians at ImagineIF learned this week that they will receive the Pat Williams Intellectual Freedom Award for their response to challenges against two now controversial books — “Lawn Boy” and “Gender Queer” — next month.

Hershey says it won't be able to meet Halloween demand this year | CNN Business
Many consumer goods manufacturers have been struggling to meet surging demand for their products during the pandemic, especially with the ongoing supply chain issues. That’s meant that they’ve had to reduce production of certain less popular items or, as in the case of the late, great Choco Taco, cut them altogether.

RNC warning to Trump: If you run for president, we stop paying your legal bills, says official - ABC News
Republican leaders who worry that Donald Trump could hurt their midterm chances by announcing a presidential run too soon are hoping he'll be dissuaded from doing so by the prospect of losing hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal payments, according to an RNC official.

Sprite will no longer be sold in green bottles | CNN Business
“Taking colors out of bottles improves the quality of the recycled material,” Julian Ochoa, CEO of R3CYCLE, a plastic group helping Coca-Cola improve its recycling, said in a statement. “When recycled, clear PET Sprite bottles can be remade into bottles, helping drive a circular economy for plastic.”