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The Weekend Mauling: 6.18.2022

And so, as the rats’ milk is returned to the sewers, the circle of life is complete

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Food Trucks at the 2013 Sweetlife Music and Food Festival Photo by Kyle Gustafson / For The Washington Post via Getty Images

The Rock Chalkboard

77 Days Until Kansas Football: Previewing the Quarterbacks - Blue Wings Rising
Each week, we will take a deep dive into one of the 10 main position groups, highlighting the key players to watch and giving you an idea of what to expect from the position this year. Up first is the position that probably has paradoxically the most certainty but also the most depth.

Kansas baseball coach Dan Fitzgerald's 6-year contract includes 1-time, 1-year extension incentive for reaching NCAA Tournament | Mobile
In addition to the potential extension, Fitzgerald’s contract includes bonuses for the following:

• Two weeks’ additional salary for finishing in the top 5 in the Big 12 standings

• One month’s additional salary for a Big 12 regular season championship

• One month’s additional salary for a Big 12 tournament championship

• One month’s additional salary for NCAA Tournament participation (separate from Incentive Year Seven)

• One month’s additional salary for NCAA Super Regionals participation

• One month’s additional salary for a World Series appearance

• Two month’s additional salary for an NCAA championship

Former coaches on new Kansas guard Wyvette Mayberry: 'You can count on her' | Mobile
Mayberry was a senior in high school when Leyva, her coach, assigned her to defend the point guard. That player, whom he would not name but is now playing at a Division I mid-major school, grew increasingly frustrated by Mayberry's relentless full-court defense until she finally snapped.

Bits o Chalk

Parents of Texas teenager who left Dallas Mavericks game speak out on human trafficking case
Police found the girl as she walked on the side of a road in Oklahoma City 10 days after Morris, her stepfather, reported her missing from American Airlines Center in Dallas. She had been taken to an Oklahoma City hotel, where she was sexually assaulted multiple times, starved and not allowed to bathe, according to her parents and their lawyer.

Rory McIlroy saves double bogey, keeps himself in mix at U.S. Open
BROOKLINE, Mass. -- After pushing his approach shot right of the green on the third hole at the 122nd U.S. Open on Friday, Rory McIlroy's ball was buried in thick heather as high as his knees. He swung his wedge violently, but the ball moved only about a yard.

Naomi Osaka withdraws from Wimbledon with Achilles injury, had expressed doubt about playing
Osaka's name was included on the list of withdrawals Saturday, with a leg injury noted as the reason for her dropping out. Osaka had been playing through a left Achilles injury and had tape on her foot during a first-round loss at the French Open last month.

Eraser Dust

Colbert show staffers detained by Capitol Police in congressional building
“Their interviews at the Capitol were authorized and pre-arranged through Congressional aides of the members interviewed,” Luczak said in an email. “After leaving the members’ office on their last interview of the day, the production team stayed to film stand-ups and other final comedy elements in the halls when they were detained by Capitol Police.”

Two Uvalde officers had chance to shoot gunman, sheriff’s deputy says | Texas school shooting | The Guardian
Two Uvalde city police officers passed up a fleeting chance to shoot a gunman outside Robb elementary school before he went on to kill 21 people inside the school, a senior sheriff’s deputy told the New York Times.

Free school lunches for all set to end, creating ‘perfect storm’ amid high inflation
A federal waiver that made school breakfasts and lunches free to students regardless of their family’s income is set to expire June 30, eliminating a benefit that has helped millions of schoolchildren at a time when they need it more than ever, anti-hunger advocates say.

Noel Gallagher says "farcical" Royal Family is "dwindling like religion"
Gallagher – who doesn’t “hate” the monarchy but has admitted that he is not a royalist – said he was surprised to learn his staff were taking the time off because “the music business should not stop for the monarchy”.

“Some of the people who work for me, I was like, ‘See you tomorrow’. They went, ‘Oh, we’re off tomorrow. We’ve got the day off for the jubilee,'” Gallagher said. “I was like, ‘Fucking royalists in the music business?’ I’m not having the day off, you’re not having the day off’. Anyway they all had the day off.”

Do You Understand Homer Simpson's Wearing A Towel Joke?
A more interesting question is why so many people seem disappointed that there's an explanation for Homer's line. In part, this is simply nostalgia: as seen in criticisms of later Simpsons seasons, people are attached to their previous understanding of The Simpsons, a show that many watched in childhood, and may fondly remember the gag as an example of the series' absurdist humor at its best. This joke may also not resonate as well with a modern audience that doesn't talk vocally on the phone as much.

How Louis Theroux Became a ‘Jiggle Jiggle’ Sensation at Age 52 - The New York Times
Decades into his career, the British American journalist has an unlikely TikTok hit that could be the song of the summer. “I am not trying to make it as a rapper,” he says.

Flathead Valley homeowners still dealing with flooding
“It is rather interesting to watch the geese and ducks land on what is supposed to be your lawn,” said Marty Watkins, a Kalispell homeowner affected by the floods in Flathead County.

Mortgages: Why it may be worth it to put off buying a home for now
Last week, total mortgage volume fell to half of where it was a year ago, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association. And while that includes refinance demand, purchase mortgage demand was 21% below where it was a year prior.

Bill Cosby civil trial jury must start deliberations over : NPR
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — After two days of deliberations in which they reached verdicts on nearly all of the questions put before them, jurors in a civil trial who were deciding on sexual abuse allegations against Bill Cosby will have to start from scratch on Monday.

First case of human monkeypox reported in Maryland
“Although human monkeypox is a rare infection in the United States, this Maryland case and other cases in the region and country remind us that we need to be prepared and take steps to prevent infection and its spread,” said MDH Deputy Secretary for Public Health Dr. Jinlene Chan. “MDH will continue to work with local and federal public health authorities and communicate responsibly with Maryland residents as we learn more.”

Why a negative covid test might seem to cure your symptoms - The Washington Post
“We have learned that social, emotional and behavioral factors influence health,” one expert said. “This mind-body connection is not to be underestimated. It’s real and it’s very powerful."