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The Memorial Mauling: 5.30.2022

To Marge, I leave my collection of potato chips that resemble celebrities. They’re all here. Otto von Bismarck, Maurice Chevalier, right up to Jay Leno

Wine Chips founder Jonathan Strietzel Photo by Paul Bersebach/MediaNews Group/Orange County Register via Getty Images

The Rock Chalkboard

96 Days Until Kansas Football: Recapping the 2022 Transfer Class - Blue Wings Rising
Nowhere is that more apparent than with the Kansas Jayhawks, who have signed 11 transfers from other schools in the most recent signing class. And with limit on initial counters in a season being removed, I expect the transfer class to be more important these next two seasons.

97 Days Until Kansas Football: Recapping the 2022 Recruiting Class - Blue Wings Rising
I have two big issues with the the ranking systems used to evaluate recruiting classes. The first is a pretty big one: that the ranking system is additive. By that, I mean that players are each given a rating, and the ratings of players are added together to get a total score for the class. The result is that recruiting classes with more players are automatically at an advantage to smaller recruiting classes. This can lead to some pretty unintuitive results, especially as more teams look to the transfer portal to fill holes in their roster.

College basketball rankings: Texas rises after Tyrese Hunter transfer in CBS Sports' updated Top 25 And 1
Former Iowa State point guard Tyrese Hunter took his time deciding on a school after entering the transfer portal and landed on Texas this week, giving the Longhorns an elite player to add to their starting lineup ahead of the 2022-23 season. The acquisition moves Texas several spots forward in the updated CBS Sports preseason Top 25 And 1 rankings entering the summer.

Kansas basketball coach Bill Self addresses future of Big 12 without Texas, Oklahoma
The Big 12 Conference is about to lose its two biggest brands to the SEC, and that will be a major challenge for the league. However, Kansas basketball coach Bill Self says the conference will find a way to keep going.

Eraser Dust

Texas school shooting: A 9-year-old describes escaping through a window as anger mounts over law enforcement's response | CNN
Daniel, 9, alongside his mother, Briana Ruiz, told CNN the gunman fired several shots into his classroom after being unable to enter. The door had been locked by his teacher, and the bullets fired struck the teacher as well as a classmate.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband arrested for DUI after crash in Napa | The Independent
Paul Pelosi, 82, was arrested before midnight on Saturday in Napa County and was sent to jail on two counts – driving under the influence and driving with a blood alcohol content level of 0.08 or higher. The incident was first reported by TMZ, citing publicly available arrest records.

The Simpsons Season 33 Finale Answers One Of The Show’s Oldest Mysteries
However, The Simpsons season 33 finale, “Poorhouse Rock,” provided an answer to this issue. When Bart’s treehouse went up in flames at the end of an elaborate musical number, he yelled, “wait, so this was all real?!” offering an answer to the tricky question of whether or not musical numbers take place in the reality of The Simpsons or inside the character’s heads. Particularly on a cartoonish, surreal show, this question is a tough one. On one hand, characters like Bart and Homer aren’t usually smart enough to improvise lyrics off the top of their heads, but on the other, much more absurd and larger-than-life things happen within the show’s goofy heightened reality every week. This moment, however, proved that musical numbers can occur within the universe of The Simpsons, but Bart’s shock simultaneously implied that this is an exception rather than the rule.

Why Fangirls Scream - The Atlantic
The doctors were confused until she said that she’d been screaming for hours the night before at the Dallas stop on One Direction’s Where We Are Tour. The exertion, they hypothesized, had forced open a small hole in her respiratory tract. It wasn’t really a big deal—she was given extra oxygen and kept overnight for observation, and she required no follow-up treatment. But the incident was described in all its absurd, gory detail in a paper published in the Journal of Emergency Medicine three years later. The lead physician wrote that such a case had “yet to be described in the medical literature.” Doctors were familiar with military pilots, scuba divers, and weightlifters straining their respiratory tract, but this case presented the first evidence that “forceful screaming during pop concerts” could have the same physical toll.

As it marks its first year, health center acquires Sykes Pharmacy | Daily Inter Lake
“We are very excited to welcome the Sykes Pharmacy staff to our team and add pharmacy services to our scope of services within the Greater Valley Health Center organization,” said Mary Sterhan, CEO of Greater Valley Health Center, in a release. “Sykes Pharmacy has a great reputation for customer service which we value and commit to preserving.”

Logan Health doctor describes signs of monkeypox, no cases found in Montana
Logan Health Hospitalist Dr. Cory Short said symptoms include fever, headaches, muscle aches and a rash developing one to three days after the onset of fever.

Short said monkeypox is not as transmissible as coronavirus but can be spread by close contact with bodily fluids.

Forest Service orders temporary closure of Blankenship Camp | Hungry Horse News
At least two vehicles have become stuck at the bar in the past week, according to photos provided to the Hungry Horse News, although witnesses said one pickup truck was messing around, rather than simply trying to access the de facto camp.

FDA investigating hepatitis A outbreak possibly linked to organic strawberries - ABC News
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are investigating an outbreak of hepatitis A that is possibly linked to two brands of organic strawberries that were sold at several retailers in the U.S. and Canada.

"Top Gun: Maverick" draws biggest weekend opener ever for Tom Cruise
Paramount and Skydance’s huge Memorial Day weekend opener for “Top Gun: Maverick” shows just how much audiences trust Tom Cruise to continue delivering at the box office, four decades into his career.

97 Days Until Kansas Football: Recapping the 2022 Recruiting Class - Blue Wings Rising
I have two big issues with the the ranking systems used to evaluate recruiting classes. The first is a pretty big one: that the ranking system is additive. By that, I mean that players are each given a rating, and the ratings of players are added together to get a total score for the class. The result is that recruiting classes with more players are automatically at an advantage to smaller recruiting classes. This can lead to some pretty unintuitive results, especially as more teams look to the transfer portal to fill holes in their roster.

Poll of the Day

Poll

The above image represents brownies or a baked good in a pan. Which is the best piece?

This poll is closed

  • 31%
    1
    (10 votes)
  • 18%
    2
    (6 votes)
  • 50%
    3
    (16 votes)
32 votes total Vote Now