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Player Ratings to the Theme of Mascots that Have Nothing to do with the Team

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Toronto Maple Leafs v Philadelphia Flyers Photo by Len Redkoles/NHLI via Getty Images

Question: Before Tuesday night’s game, has a team ever gone on a 20-2 run and not won? Answer: I’m not looking that up. Another question: what’s the best team mascot that has absolutely nothing to do with the team? Let’s find out!

5 Stars: Gritty

Was there ever a doubt about this pick? This psychopath has nothing to do with the Philadelphia Flyers except for his orange color. Who cares? This madman rules.

No one got a five star rating today.

4.5 Stars: The Philly Phanatic

The original. He’s gotta go here. I guess Philadelphia has the best mascots in the US, at least according to this very specific study.

Jalen Wilson played pretty well tonight, and it looks like he might’ve just turned the corner. Finished with 16 points and eight rebounds. Another nice performance.

4 Stars: The Gorilla in Phoenix

Do the Phoenix Suns still have a gorilla as a mascot? Maybe, I didn’t look it up. What I do know is that that dunking maniac was cool back in the day.

Christian Braun nailed that big three and two key free throws to win the game for the Jayhawks. Finished with 15 on five of eight shooting.

Although he didn’t play too much, Mitch Lightfoot made four of five from the floor and looked pretty slick on his little jump hook.

3.5 Stars: Al the Octopus

The tradition of throwing an octopus on the ice in Detroit is quite the oddity in professional sports, so it made sense when the Red Wings decided to make their mascot a giant purple octopus.

Considering it looked like Ochai Agbaji might’ve broken his wrist, KU still got a nice second half out of the KC senior. He canned two huge threes late and his drive to the hoop late in the contest was a dagger.

3 Stars: The Oklahoma and Tennessee Dogs

I’m not going to take the time to figure out why these two schools have decided to use dogs as mascots. At least the dogs look pretty cool. Also, Oklahoma has a horse too?

Dajuan Harris started the game off well, making a three and scoring on two drives, but at times in the second half, it looked like Harris wanted to take over the game and he made some mistakes that cost KU some possessions. What I’m saying is that a team with Wilson, Braun, and Agbaji doesn’t need Harris to try to take over, or at least they shouldn’t.

Not the best and not the worst from David McCormack in this one. Perhaps this Groves dude is a bad matchup for Dave.

I’m giving Remy Martin the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t play a ton (only about 15 minutes) but he did look more explosive out there than he has in two weeks.

2 Stars: Gunnersaurus

Arsenal has a canon on their badge. This mascot is a dinosaur for some reason. He is a nice guy though as evidenced by the fact that former star Mesut Ozil offered to pay for him to stay on as a mascot when Arsenal axed the position, claiming financial losses due to Covid.

No one here.

1 Star: KC Wolf

Why? What’s the point? I mean, it’s better than stealing more Native American iconography, but I’ve always hated this dude.

No one here either.

Nico Roberts Memorial Non-Rating:

Jalen Coleman-Lands, KJ Adams, and Joseph Yesufu played very little (10 minutes combined) as Bill Self shortened his bench for this one.