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Player Ratings to the Theme of Duds

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“The Shipping News” Los Angeles Premiere Photo by SGranitz/WireImage

Kansas played the game of “let’s see if we can blow this game using the largest possible combination of tragicomic ways to do it.” The Jayhawks threw the ball into the crowd, passed it directly to Iowa State, and fought teammates for rebounds and lost those boards to the Cyclones. They set devastating picks for offensive fouls, missed free throws, and allowed a wide open look at the end that luckily hit the opposite side of the rim. If Kansas could’ve just not continually got caught on traps they never should’ve gotten themselves stuck in, this game wouldn’t have been close. Add that to the list too. Instead, it was an instruction manual on everything you shouldn’t do to let an inferior team beat you right up to the part where they let ISU’s only legitimate scoring threat do everything but win it himself. This game was a dud, no half stars today, we’re evaluating on a straight up one through five.

5 Stars: Milk Duds

Chocolate and caramel, always good. I always forget about Milk Duds but they’re pretty good and I always enjoy them in that Halloween mixed pack where they are clearly the best chocolate candy.

Nope. No one was a five star

4: Duds n’ Suds, old Mississippi Street location

This is a personal one for me, as I had a few friends that worked at the old Duds n’ Suds location near campus. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, it was a self service/full service laundromat that also happened to serve beer. With friends there, you could probably guess why I liked it.

Ochai Agbaji was the lone bright spot in this game. He nailed 50% of his threes (four of eight) and had a Paul Pierce-esque dribble drive along the baseline in one of the only pretty plays of this game. Finished with 22.

3: Calling your clothes “duds”

The world needs more old fashioned colloquialisms.

Christian Braun was off on Tuesday. Even some of the shots that he normally makes from relatively close were falling off the rim. Hopefully, this game is an aberration for CB even though he finished with 13 and 7 because he just felt off.

Apparently, this was just a novelty start for KJ Adams.

Even though Dajuan Harris circused it up to win it for KU, he was otherwise pretty dismal. His four turnovers were costly (as were everyone’s but just imagine if ISU could convert) and Kansas desperately needs a healthy Remy Martin.

Jalen Coleman-Lands was the only Jayhawk without a turnover. He gets a three star for that alone. Like Harris who was six of six, JCL was perfect on all three free throws.

2: Dudley Moore

The Arthur movies weren’t really that funny although for some reason, when I was eight years old I though that they were. But here’s the thing, most eight year olds aren’t smart or really know what is funny or good.

I can’t give anyone else even a three. Just as it looked like Jalen Wilson was turning a corner, he puts up a four point, two rebound game. He did have five assists which could’ve boosted him up a notch, but I don’t feel like being generous today.

I expect more from Mitchid McLightmack. Mitch Lightfoot and David McCormack combined for five points and eight rebounds in 30 minutes.

Bobby Pettiford came back from Covid and injury and looked rusty. The freshman had a game to forget and should learn from it. KU needs him with Remy out.

1: (Dud)e, Where’s My Car

Had to stretch it a tad bit with this one, and full disclosure, I never saw this movie because it sounded so dumb. Two good stories (ok, not good but they are stories) concerning this movie: 1) I had a friend who owns this, and he told me it was an “impulse buy” at Best Buy. Sure it was. 2) One of the Lawrence movie theaters back in the day must’ve run out of letters on their marquee (I think it was the theatres at 25th and Iowa) so the sign read Dude, Where’s My Cap? I think there was a half-hearted attempt to put a 1 or capital I up there at an angle, but it had fallen down way before I saw the sign. Come on guys, just use an ellipsis or something.

Somehow, no one was as bad as Dude, Where’s my Cap?