Player Ratings to the Theme of Jolly Rancher Flavors

Everyone has their own thoughts on candy. Most likely, this list will not coincide with your own list. Disagree in the comments if you so desire. Note: No tropical or special edition Jolly Ranchers were rated here, but man, that mango Jolly Rancher is a game changer.

5 Stars: Cherry

Dare I say that the cherry Jolly Rancher is the best cherry flavored candy out there? I dare, mainly because it’s true. Kinda sweet, kinda sour, not “WILD” or whatever. It tastes perfect.

Because of the sleepwalk that was the second half, no players achieved five star status.

4.5 Stars: Grape

I like grape candy and the grape Jolly Rancher is no exception. Man, these are delicious.

Ochai Agbaji and Christian Braun did equal damage in both halves (basically), but the damage was done during that blistering first half. Agbaji had 13 and Braun had 10 in that defining first half. They finished with 23 and 20 respectively shooting a combined 18 of 25 from the field.

4 Stars: Watermelon

Question: why do some flavors of fruit candies taste nothing like the actual fruit? Answer: who cares, this thing is delicious.

I’m not sure there were really any other standout performances in this one.

3.5 Stars: Blue Raspberry

Why does raspberry flavor have to be blue now? Back in my day (yells at clouds, etc, etc), they made special raspberry Jolly Ranchers and they were red. Weird concept, I know.

I’m going to give both of our big guys 3.5 stars today. Both Mitch Lightfoot and David McCormack only scored eight points each, but limited any scoring from UTEP’s bigger players without fouling. That was nice to see.

Six assists and four steals for Dajuan Harris. Not a vintage 3.5 star performance, but he is very good defensively. I wonder how motivated he will be to play his hometown Tigers next?

I’m going to give KJ Adams an “energy 3.5” today. Seems about right, especially considering how listless the second half was.

Similarly, I’m going to give Chris Teahan and Michael Jankovich a gentlemen’s 3.5 for making baskets. Also, get rid of the terrible mullet/mustache combo, Chris. It might seem funny or ironic now, but when you look back, you are going to cringe looking at yourself.

3 Stars: Green Apple

Some people like them, others hate them. Kind of the perfect three star if you ask me. Personally, I’ll pick any of the other original flavors.

I considered giving Jalen Coleman-Lands a 3.5 if the rest of these guys were getting one, but decided against it. The man loves to shoot the ball, I’ll give him that. Will it be a blessing or a detriment when the games start to matter?

2 Stars: Fire

Cinnamon is a nice flavor for a hard candy. Cinnamon is not a great Jolly rancher flavor. Prediction: people will disagree with this take.

This game didn’t really need Jalen Wilson, Remy Martin, or Joseph Yesufu at their best, but someday Kansas will need these guys to play like they have in the past.

1 Star: Peach

The only reason this is a one star is because you can no longer get these. I remember them briefly as a kid and they were amazing.

No one was a one star.