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Player Ratings to the Theme of East Coast Cities

Times Square Arts And Pamela Council To Unveil “A Fountain For Survivors” Photo by Alexi Rosenfeld/Getty Images

In honor of playing in New York for the second time this year, today we rate the players according to how awesome or not awesome a city on the east coast of the United States is. Disclaimer: I couldn’t watch this game as close as I wanted to because I was preoccupied with other things, so don’t be too harsh on me if the ratings are a little off. Disclaimer 2: These are only US cities and that’s why you don’t see Toronto or Montreal, both excellent places to visit.

5 Stars: New York City

The obvious number one. Food on every corner, public transit on almost every corner, great cultural attractions, sub par but wildly popular sports teams. New York has it all. I mean, the food alone is a draw: pizza, hot dogs, the pleasures of Chinatown, Little Italy. And these are just the well-known entities. There’s so much more.

Christian Braun. Ten of 16 from the field, 50% from behind the arc, eight rebounds. A true five star performance from the Kansas kid. Kyle Davis might’ve been on to something.

Ochai Agbaji nailed five of nine from three point land. As I mentioned above, I was semi-busy on Friday and was around some non-basketball fans. When one asked about certain players, I kept mentioning Agbaji and he kept draining threes as if aware of the conversation I was having. Finished with 23 along with seven rebounds.

4.5 Stars: Washington, DC

You’ll never run out of things to do in Washington, DC. You’ve got world class museums all over the city, and in addition to that, the city is incredibly bike friendly if that’s your sort of thing. DC also has a world class food scene.

In the pre-game predictions post, I picked Jalen Wilson to snag a double-double. I should’ve picked David McCormack. Fifteen points and 13 rebounds is more than a decent day at the office and by far Dave’s best performance of the season to date.

4 Stars: Philadelphia

I’m really just in it for the Philly cheesesteaks and the Italian hoagies. If that’s all I do the next time I go to Philly, I’ll probably be just fine.

From what I could gather, the performance from Remy Martin was solid. Five of seven from the floor for 12 points is nice. So are the five assists.

3.5 Stars: Boston

I went to Boston about a decade ago and I need to go back. We went to a Red Sox game, so I never have to do that again, but there is just so much that we missed that I want to see. Also, gimme all the seafood.

This was a game for the starters. No one else was above a three.

3 Stars: Miami

The classic three star. Miami, as a tourist town, is for pretty people. It caters to people who want to be seen and drink $40 cocktails. I am not pretty and don’t want to spend that kind of cash to be mocked. On the other hand, I really want to eat all the Cuban food and experience that culture.

I feel like Dajuan Harris needs to start producing more in order to maintain his starting role. Bobby Pettiford and Joseph Yesufu also didn’t pack the stat sheet, so who knows. No turnovers for that trio in 36 combined minutes is pretty nice though.

Four points in four minutes for Zach Clemence while KJ Adams grabbed four rebounds in his limited playing time.

2 Stars: Orlando

If you have kids, this is probably great. I know I’ll get a bunch of adults who go to Disney or MGM all the time slamming this choice, but I stand by it. This is not what I want to do when I’m on vacation. To each his own though.

Jalen Wilson snagged 9 rebounds, but the rest of his game wasn’t on against St. John’s.

Take a bow, Mitch Lightfoot. Four fouls in seven minutes is eclipsing my memories of TJ Pugh quickly.

Jalen Coleman-Lands hucked up five threes and only one went in. We expect better from the transfer.

1 Star: St. Louis

These people really believe that they are east coast. Seriously. Have you met some of these St. Louis “elitists”?

No one was as bad as someone from St. Louis, Missouri thinking they’re from the east coast and actually telling people this fabricated ridiculousness.