Player Ratings to the Theme of Tiger Related Stuff

In honor of destroying the Missouri Tigers, we’re going to rate the players based on a tiger theme. No mascots or making fun of Missouri here, bless their SEC hearts. Oh, and by the way, I’m not giving any player a bad score today because no one was bad.

5 Stars: Actual Tigers

These creatures are perhaps the most majestic land animal out there. Awe-inspiring.

I’m giving the entire starting lineup five star ratings, starting with Ochai Agbaji. The KC senior nailed five of seven from the three point line, and really was just throwing daggers into Mizzou’s chances of being close every time he had the ball. Finished with 23 points.

Christian Braun came out a man possessed and really could’ve finished with more if he’d kept up that intensity. He led the charge and ended with 13 points.

David McCormack was back and forth today, but he gets a five star too! I was glad to see Big Dave shooting free throws like we know he can.

It took Remy Martin a while to get warmed up and make himself a part of the game, but when he did, he looked great. I’m going to go ahead and say that Remy should take the free throws for technicals from now on if he’s eligible.

Dajuan Harris probably had a personal axe to grind in this game against the college from his hometown, and when he started knocking down threes in the first half, you knew it was KU’s day to dominate. He scored 13 total and knocked down three of four from deep.

4.5 Stars: Tigermilk by Belle & Sebastian

One of my favorite bands gets the 4.5 star nod. I know it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, especially on this site where a music debate pops up probably once a week, but the debut album from these Scottish indie rockers is a classic. I would also highly recommend Dear Catastrophe Waitress, If You’re Feeling Sinister, and Girls in Peacetime Want to Dance. They’re all excellent.

Yeah, Mitch Lightfoot fouled out, but the constant smirk on his face in this one earns him a 4.5 star accolade. He also had nine points.

4 Stars: Daniel Tiger

This little guy rose to fame in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood and has since skyrocketed in popularity since he got his new solo show. I don’t even have kids and I know about this cuddly little guy.

Jalen Coleman-Lands nailed two three pointers and finished with eight points in 12 minutes.

The other Jalen, Mr. Wilson had a decent game too, totalling seven points. Still yet to get it going, he’s getting a four star for his superstitious nature. He didn’t wear his usual under armour on his legs in the first half, probably trying to break the hex. The white leggings were back in the second and he did more damage.

3.5 Stars: Tiger Woods

Most of the sheen has come off of Eldrick’s luster over the last decade, but when Tiger Woods was in his prime, he might’ve been the most dominant athlete in any sport.

Everyone else slots in here (Zach Clemence, KJ Adams, Chris Teahan, Michael Jankovic), even Joseph Yesufu who missed a dunk in tragic-comic style.

3 Stars: Tiger King

People like this. Not sure why, so I’ll toss it in the middle as a three star.

2 Stars: Tiger Beer

This is Singapore’s favorite beer, and if you’re there, you’ll probably drink tons of it and enjoy yourself while doing so. But there are so many great choices for beer here in the US, that there is no reason to buy it.

1 Star: Hunting Tigers

Hunting tigers or any big game is for losers.