Welcome back to the Player Ratings posts, it’s been a while. Today, because of the beatdown that the Kansas Jayhawks gave Michigan State and their coach Tom Izzo, we examine some of the world’s finest Toms. Sure not all Toms could be mentioned so you’ll see no Thomas Jefferson, Tom Cruise, vaccinated quarterback Tom Brady, or even the great Tom Waits. I’m sure you’ll have comments, but first, the ratings.
5 Stars: Tom Hanks
No brainer. This fine actor has starred in such classics as Joe Versus the Volcano, Turner and Hooch, and The ‘Burbs among other movies.
Ochai Agbaji. This was the most complete game the KC senior has had in a Kansas uniform. Twenty nine points on nine of seventeen shooting, including three of six from deep and 100% accuracy on eight free throws. That’ll play.
4.5 Stars: Tom Petty
This man and his band have produced some of rock and roll’s greatest hits. I really like Tom Petty. RIP.
Remy Martin. The Arizona State transfer dominated the second half and his composure on the ball and ability to squeeze through holes and get to the rim when it seems impossible will be keys to this team’s success. A great debut.
4 Stars: Toms Shoes
Primarily thought of as a women’s shoe, Toms are great for men too. Buy them one size or a half size too small and they will shape to your feet perfectly.
I don’t think there is anyone else that played to the caliber of the guys above. No fours today.
3.5 Stars: Tommy Lee (Jones)
The Fugitive is a hell of a movie. Playing drums on a drum kit situated on a moving roller coaster while out of your mind on cocaine is also a feat worthy of my recognition.
Now, I think there are plenty of 3.5’s in this batch. And since some guys get way more playing time than others, sometimes the rating is based on small but meaningful and impactful moments. You’ll see what I mean with a few of these guys.
Dajuan Harris isn’t one of those players. He had a very solid game (six points, four assists), and shout out to a guy the size of Webster getting more rebounds than David McCormack.
Zach Clemence, KJ Adams, Jalen Coleman-Lands, and Bobby Pettiford all score well for the sparks they provided and the fact that on their debuts, under the most glaring of spotlights, they all performed well. Loved Clemence’s confidence from three point land, Adams’s energy, Jalen’s chuck it up attitude, and Pettiford’s composure.
3 Stars: Tom Brunansky
Many of you might not remember this Minnesota Twins slugger, but for those of you who have played the original RBI Baseball for the NES, you’ll know why this player sits at the perfectly average 3 spot. It was usually one of three things with old Tom on the video game (no idea about real life): Home run, strikeout, long fly ball.
Mitch Lightfoot. His foul per minute ratio is rivaling that of TJ Pugh. Solid work though and KU played better with him in there than with the other big man.
Christian Braun. His rebounding saves him from dropping. There was a point in the second half when I think he grabbed the defensive rebound on three or four consecutive possessions.
2 Stars: Tom Green
Remember when this guy was funny? I don’t.
David McCormack. Am I being too harsh on a guy that scored ten points? Maybe, but KU sputtered while he was in there for much of the game, and forcing it down low seemed like an obvious recipe for a turnover or missed bucket. Let the game come to you, big man.
1 Star: Woodrow Wilson
This dude’s real name is Thomas and he went by Woodrow. Not sure why. Fun story: when I was living in Toulouse, France, we lived really close to Place Wilson, named after Woodrow Wilson. The signs that marked the plaza all said Place President Thomas Wilson. Come on, France.
No one was a one star.
I’m looking for some names for this no star rating due to either no discernable contributions or lack of time to contribute. I’m thinking The Terry Nooner Memorial No Star Award? Anyone got any better ideas? Toss them in the comments.
Joseph Yesufu. I was expecting more and I’m assuming we’ll see more as the year progresses.