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Player Ratings to the Theme of Things I Didn’t Watch

Nope, didn’t see the game. Let’s rate the players anyway.

NFL Pro Bowl Photo by Mark Brown/Getty Images

I did this last year, and we’ll do it again this year. It wasn’t due to ESPN+, but rather a concert last night, so I’m definitely going to get this wrong. I haven’t even seen a highlight or any bit of analysis, and let’s be honest, this is the content you come here for - blind analysis. Please correct me in the comments.

5 Stars: Facebook

Not getting a facebook account was probably the greatest decision I ever made in my life.

Staring at the box score, it looks like no one was a five star. Let me know if I’m wrong.

4 Stars: The Pro Bowl

Somehow this game gets relatively big numbers each and every year. I don’t really understand how or why, but I guess that America is addicted to football, so that will have to be the answer.

Marcus Garrett’s stats look good. Nine points, seven rebounds, five steals, four assists. That’s really good. Did have six turnovers which isn’t good.

Devon Dotson will apparently get his points. He scored 15 in this one.

Isaiah Moss looked to be the only bench player of note. Scored 13 points on three of five three point shooting. That’s what KU is going to need to cut the nets down in April.

3 Stars: Independence Day

In 1996, I pledged to never watch the movie Independence Day. That thing was too mainstream for mid nineties dnoll5 as he was striving to get his street cred up by working at KJHK and listening to obscure bands. Still haven’t seen it. When I make a pledge, I keep the promise!

I’m going to give everyone else a three-star rating. Why not? This is one of the biggest road wins of the Bill Self era.

Ochai Agbaji has 9 points but missed all of his threes.

Udoka Azubuike had six points and seven boards, but I’m assuming that he was frustrated by all the groping that West Virginia is allowed to do because the referees feel that they shouldn’t call a foul on every play.

Christian Braun only scored two points and David McCormack only had four. Kansas won, so who cares!

2 Stars: Oscar Movies

Each year I’m kind of sad that I missed out on most of these. Then, ten seconds later, it goes away and I never think about it again. Side note: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was great.

1 Star: North Korea

Going to reiterate the exact thing I used last year. Finally, something I’m glad about. Fortunately, no Kansas player was bad enough to be compared to North Korea. Note: There never will be one.

No Rating:

Tristan Enaruna.