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Player Ratings to the Theme of Things People Watch

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Didn’t watch it, rating them anyway.

Cranes in flight Photo by Ingolf König-Jablonski/picture alliance via Getty Images

Well, I didn’t watch the game against Washburn, but is that going to stop me from rating the players? Nope. This one is going to be straight from the box score. And since that game was an emergency scheduled game because of Covid and therefore optional viewing, I decided to dedicate these ratings to other things people watch sometimes.

5 Stars: TV

Yep, this checks out. People watch TV.

No one was as good as plopping in front of the TV for a show or two. Or a movie. Or the news. Or a sporting event (an exception is below). For example, I watched an episode of Psych while this game was going on, and I enjoyed it.

4 Stars: Birds

Seems like a good hobby. I saw a hawk in my backyard once and we routinely have cardinals back there.

According to the box score, David McCormack was pretty good against the Ichabods. Common sense tells me that would check out. He was seven of eight from the field against smaller competition.

Jalen Wilson and Ochai Agbaji also had solid games from what ESPN.com can tell me. Jalen had 13 points and six rebounds while Ochai scored 16 while snagging five boards.

3.5 Stars: Birds on TV

This could be a nature show, a basketball game, or Sesame Street. People like to see birds on TV.

Christian Braun scored all of his nine points on three of five shooting from three. And based on the highlights I saw, he also had a new haircut.

Bryce Thompson scored 11. Maybe that’s what he needs to get moving as KU plays better opponents.

Tyon Grant-Foster had six points and six rebounds. Seems like a decent night.

Not really sure where you put Dajuan Harris after a game like that. Couldn’t really tell that much by simply looking at the box score.

3 Stars: Water Boil

Not as exciting as the options above, but the bubbles look kinda cool.

This is where the rest of the team goes. Without having seen it, Marcus Garrett had a decent night, scoring five, assisting five, and grabbing four rebounds. Hope he’s feeling better. Maybe he should’ve been a 3.5? Perhaps, I didn’t watch.

Mitch Lightfoot, Tristan Enaruna, and Latrell Jossell all played some minutes of basketball and scored while doing it.

Gethro Muscadin and Chris Teahan each played a few minutes of basketball but unfortunately didn’t score.

2 Stars: Paint Drying

This is actually quite underrated, especially when you are trying to finish painting. Because let’s face it, when you start painting, the ultimate goal is to finish.

I’m not putting anyone as a two star.

1 Star: Sporting KC v Minnesota United

Unless you are a Minnesota fan, this became an option only for the desperate or eternally hopeful.

No one was this bad.

Also, small note- If you read all of this, I appreciate it. We’ll be back to the regularly scheduled (and mostly serious) ratings after the next game.