clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The Daily Mauling: 12.26.2020

New, 32 comments
Texas Monthly BBQ Fest

KU doesn’t play today and its the day after Christmas. No one cares about a link dump today. Something has been bothering me and now its going to bother all of you as well. That is Texas senator John Cornyn’s holiday brisket. Its started with this:

Twitter users rightfully started dunking on this dry, possibly ketchup covered, monstrosity. Judging by his position in the government and the incredibly expensive oven in the background, Cornyn is a very wealthy man. Plus he lives in Texas. The brisket capital of the world. Shouldn’t he be able to provide his family with a non-trash brisket?

It wasn’t long before news outlets started picking it up:

Texas Senator Gets Smoked for Tweeting Terrible-Looking Brisket Photo
‘Twas the night before Christmas/when all through his house/Texas Sen. John Cornyn was cooking a brisket in the oven/that was a straight-up disgrace to the cows.

Which prompted Cornyn to defend his leathery, tomato paste covered meat:

One of twitter’s investigative journalists immediately pounced on this claim:

A senator from the state of Texas says the best brisket comes from Wisconsin?! Texans are you paying attention?

Predictably, Senator Can’t Cook a Brisket responded this morning after hours of public mockery in typical modern GOP fashion:

Texans, remember this moment in the 2026 election.