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Player Ratings to the Theme of Bourbon

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Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon Photo by Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post via Getty Images

Well, it’s Kentucky after all. And let’s use this as a forum for bourbons we like to drink or think that others should drink. I want to learn what my next bottle should be as I am really no connoisseur, just a novice who likes to try new things. I mean, there will be plenty of other places to analyze basketball, right? Or was that even basketball? I once watched my sister’s fifth grade rec league team slog out an amazing 4-2 win. This felt like that. Anyway, bourbon.

5 Stars: Pappy Van Winkle 23 Year

This is the stuff of legend. The stuff you fork over $200 for an ounce of in that once in a lifetime moment. When we visited Buffalo Trace, they mentioned that the Pappy 23 sits in that giant 53 gallon barrel for so long that when they crack it open, there is somewhere between eight and nine gallons left. That’s liquid gold right there.

In this game, no one was good enough to be compared to Pappy.

4.5 Stars: Blanton’s

This is the bad boy that you go to when you want to treat yourself. Sure, it can be expensive to drink out at a bar, but it is meant to be savored. To me, this is the rich man’s treat because I can’t afford the five star.

Jalen Wilson. This guy is the only reason KU won this game. He had 23 points on five of eight shooting and ten rebounds. A great performance.

4 Stars: Four Roses Single Barrel

Single barrel bourbon is getting more and more rare and more and more pricey. Fortunately, one of the most accessible (and at a decent price point) is the offering from Four Roses. Tasty stuff right here.

No one else was as good as this tasty boubon.

3.5 Stars: Eagle Rare

Before they changed the rules and allowed for vague descriptions and more blends in each bottle (a necessity to keep up with demand), Eagle Rare was the bomb. It tasted like a sugar cookie dipped in whiskey. Each bottle was strictly 10 year aged bourbon. Now that there can be other ages tossed in there, it’s not as good. But it’s still good enough to get a nice rating from me.

People thought I underrated Ochai Agbaji last week at 3.5 stars. He was easily KU’s second best player and finished with 17 points, but someone had to I guess.

3 Stars: Maker’s Mark

It’s a standby for a reason. Can’t go wrong with this one, but there are better ones on this list for sure.

Dajuan Harris had only two points but dished out five assists.

Marcus Garrett shouldn’t have been playing in this one, negative test or not. He looked like a walking corpse out there and I’m worried for him and this team about possible future positive COVID tests. I hope I’m wrong. Anyway, this guy is a tough SOB, so he gets three stars.

2 Stars: Jim Beam

Another standby and by no means is this a bad bourbon. It isn’t. It’s just that the others on this list are far better.

This wasn’t Christian Braun’s night offensively, but he did have 13 rebounds, mainly because Kentucky is terrible at shooting. But still, right place, right time for CB.

David McCormack. His five of six from the free throw line is the only thing keeping him from the one star. The decision making in this dude’s head is just staggering. He needs to pull a George Costanza and just do the opposite of every instinct he has ever had.

Bryce Thompson. I dunno. Seemed like a 2 performance from a lot of guys.

1 Star: McCormick’s

I had to look it up to make sure that the cheapest liquor brand also made bourbon, and they do! I bet it sucks. I looked it up and it costs $6.98 for 750 mL. Oh boy.

I couldn’t rate anyone here.

No Rating:

Mitch Lightfoot, Tristan Enaruna, and Tyon Grant-Foster all played two minutes.