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Player Ratings to the Theme of Rumbles

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There was a fight

2019 NLCS Game 3 - St. Louis Cardinals v. Washington Nationals Photo by Alex Trautwig/MLB Photos via Getty Images

In light of the fight that happened after KU (no class, trash university) beat K-State (classy team that always does the right thing and never starts fights), let’s rate the players to the theme of types of rumbles.

5 Stars: The Rumble in the Jungle

Muhammad Ali beats George Foreman and it took place in Zaire. Man, boxing used to be the biggest event in the world.

Christian Braun. Twenty points, six of ten from three. Nice work.

4 Stars: Royal Rumbles

I don’t watch wrestling, but I’d be remiss to not add what many believe to be the peak of WWE/WWF awesomeness.

Devon Dotson. Matched his season average of 18 points, but needs to start knocking down those open threes to keep elite defenders honest.

Ten points and 14 boards is a decent day for Udoka Azubuike. David McCormack also scored 11 and had five rebounds. Solid.

Marcus Garrett scored eight, had five assists, and snatched two rebounds. He’ll be very important on Monday against Oklahoma State.

Silvio de Sousa got his money’s worth, I guess.

Michael Jankovich. I’m giving the walk-on a four star for his four points in limited minutes.

3 Stars: “Let’s get ready to rumble!”

Michael Buffer made so much money off these five words. It was everywhere in the 1990s. It’s been played out for years.

Ochai Agbaji needs to assert himself more and knock down open threes (obviously).

Isaiah Moss becomes more important in the upcoming games. He should have free reign to fire away in the upcoming exhibition game against Tennessee. Finished with seven points.

Tristan Enaruna got some more playing time, but he missed his only three point attempts. Still a work in progress, I guess.

Chris Teahan and Elijah Elliot played basketball and were being pressed by K-State for some reason.

2 Stars: Your stomach rumbling

We’ve all been there. Man, you’re hungry, and your stomach is letting you know. Sometimes it gets rewarded with the best of foods. Others, you eat what’s on hand, and still other times, you suffer as a hungry dude for a while.

1 Star: That time in 4th grade where there was supposed to be a big rumble and we all gathered at a park and then nothing happened and we rode our bikes home

Self explanatory.

National analysis of the fight is what gets a one-star. The immediate reactions after seeing it once were preposterous.