Kansas vs Coastal Carolina: The View from Section 5

PREGAME

Another beautiful day for college football. Sunny, low-80s, nice gentle breeze. Perfect.

Pulled into the Mississippi Street parking garage right around 4 PM.

Grab a bite at Chic-Fil-A in the Union to own the Libs.

Walk through the bookstore for a bit.

Head outside. What’s this, some kind of tailgate put on by the Union?

It’s called the Rock Chalk Rally, and they’re open three hours before kickoff, serving some foods (like hot dogs), drinks (including alcohol), and... free koozies!

Just sat down with my beer to play giant connect four with my friend and hey, do you want to be on the radio? It’s a trivia contest. Sports geography is the game.

Sure, I’m in.

I got five out of seven. My opponent got nada. Hello, swag bag.

Moar koozies!

They had me stay on a few extra minutes and break down the game a bit. It was fun.

Thanks 90.7 KJHK!

On to the game.

FIRST QUARTER

A pass on first down? Cool.

Jayhawks score on 8 plays. Only one third down that was converted.

EZ game.

The Jayhawks are coming.

Great punt but illegal formation? Come on. I thought we were done with mistakes like that.

SECOND QUARTER

LOL they just missed a 31-yard field goal?

EZ game.

Carter.... no.

You gotta throw that out of bounds, bud.

Terrible.

Boring game so far after that opening drive.

KU defense struggling to contain the Coastal RB. Nobody is picking him up on the option.

And the RB gets a TD pass on a wheel route because again, nobody picked him up.

What are we doing on defense?

LOL they missed the extra point.

Sosinksi looks shaken up after a big gain.

And we miss a field goal. Great.

HALFTIME

I don’t think it’s going to be an EZ game anymore.

Why can’t we have nice football things?

THIRD QUARTER

GREAT defensive start.

Finally made that adjustment for their running back.

Good field position for the offense. Do something please.

Holding. Sigh.

Carter... no.

Dude.

Who were you even throwing that to?

Oh, Coastal going with a different quarterback.

And they go right down the field. Great.

Whaaaaaaaaat was that fourth down call?

Ooo that chop block should help us out.

Good field position again for the offense.

FOURTH QUARTER

First play of the fourth quarter - you had four minutes (real time) and THAT’S the play you came up with?

Seriously, no field goal? You’re down 5. Make it a one-kick game.

Timeout... OK. Fourth and 4. I get it.

Coastal timeout. Ok. We’re playing chess.

GREAT GHOST OF DAVID BEATY.

Why did we need another timeout? And why are we in the exact same formation?

What is this offense???

Was that supposed to be an RPO? Cuz it looked like a QB sweep, only six Coastal players went unblocked and swarmed Stanley.

Three timeouts and that’s what you came up with.

How much are we paying these coaches?

Criminy.

Ok now their starting QB is back in.

I’ve heard Da’Jon Terry’s name several times tonight.

A long drive but they miss another (short) field goal (lol).

Man that took over 8 minutes off the clock. And we’ve blown all our timeouts.

This would be a different situation if we had attempted (and made) a field goal on that 4th and 4.

THERE ARE NINE DEFENDERS IN THE BOX WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Well, that’s it.

If they get a first down, it’s over.

The comedy of errors continues. Defensive substitution penalty gives them second and short.

That first down seals it.

This may be worse than Rice.

POSTGAME

No boos from the crowd? I’m honestly surprised. KU fans should expect better than this.

(Editor’s Note: Benton Smith reported booing from “a large contingent” of the crowd, but I sure didn’t hear it.)

Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about traffic at the next home game.

I feel like the coaches really let the players down tonight. Some things just never change I guess.

Trudging back to the parking garage - most people are just quietly putting away their tailgates.

This was bad.

Embarrassing even.

I’m mad that I’m mad.

No....

I am sad.

See you in Boston.