Player Ratings to the Theme of Famous Web(b)ers

Well, that stunk. I really thought that KU would come out with more than they did on Tuesday night, but alas, they were flat for much of the game. But despite a loss that puts the streak in serious peril, the player ratings must go on.

5 Stars: The Weber Grill

A classic. The gold standard for charcoal grills. The standard Weber round grill is perfect for almost any of your charcoal grilling (and even smoking) needs. I’ve always had one, and the little Smoky Joe mini grill is perfect for college or tailgating or if you’re a single person.

You think a performance from that game could live up to the excellence of a Weber grill? Think again.

4.5 Stars: Andrew Lloyd Webber

Cats, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Phantom of the Opera, Evita, and many others. Andrew Lloyd Webber is the biggest name in musical theatre and it’s not particularly close.

I’m looking at the turnover column in the box score right now, and there is no way I can award a 4.5 star to anyone. For the starters, it reads like this: 4, 5, 2, 4, 4. Completely unacceptable.

4 Stars: Chris Webber

In college, Chris is best known as the superstar on Michigan who called a timeout when they had none left. As a pro, Chris Webber is known as the first overall pick in 1993 who had a pretty solid career, mostly for the Sacramento Kings.

Devon Dotson was again the best Jayhawk. He had 13 points, five rebounds, and 5 assists. Should’ve driven the ball even more.

Dedric Lawson. What else is this guy supposed to do? I joked to one of my friends that he’s have to get 25 and let four other guys get 7 while holding KSU to terrible shooting. Minus the infinity turnovers KU had, that might’ve worked.

3.5 Stars: Weber Carpet (now Weber Flooring)

For some reason I remember this company from my childhood- probably because they ran local commercials constantly in the 1980s. Seems like whenever I was watching TV at home in the summer, one of their commercials would come on.

Charlie Moore was pretty good in this one. Not as good as the two above, but probably KU’s third best player. That spells doom.

Mitch Lightfoot. Anyone know why Self went away from Lightfoot (and Moore) in favor of Vick in that second half? Seems like it was working in the first frame. Again, when Mitch is your fourth best player, the game is going poorly.

3 Stars: Bruce Weber

Yep, I’m still going to throw shade at K-State’s sixth man on the court, but I’m putting the K-State coach as the three-star. He’s done a good job there. The guy can coach defense really well, usually has a competitive team, and can even muster up the occasional deep run in the tournament if he a) has a lot of great players that he didn’t recruit left over from the previous regime or b) gets a 16 seed to beat a one seed for the first time, therefore clearing their path to the Final Four with only a Missouri Valley team that wouldn’t even have made it to the dance if Wichita State hadn’t have switched leagues in their way.

KJ Lawson. Nothing he did was particularly offensive. I actually would’ve liked to see more of his length in the zone, but that’s not his fault.

Ochai Agbaji. This was one of his worst games as a Jayhawk, but I still think it was miles ahead of the next two guys.

2 Stars: Weber State University

This university wears purple, occasionally makes an NCAA tournament appearance, and is nicknamed the wildcats. Sound familiar? The one plus over the obvious comparison- Ogden, Utah looks rather pretty.

Lagerald Vick appeared to be the human version of a green light. When K-State shooters saw him guarding them, they fired away.

Quentin Grimes might want to consider taking the ball to the rack with some authority once in a while. We know it’s in there. Come on man, you’ve gotta start doing it.

1 Star: Jeanne Weber

This was French serial killer who strangled 10 children before getting caught.

No one is as bad as someone who strangles kids.

No Rating:

The walk ons who I didn’t even notice got into the game until I read the box score.