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Player Ratings to the Theme of Friends Characters

Chandler, Joey, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross

US-TELEVISION-FRIENDS Photo credit should read ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images

Did you know that there was a popular television from the 1990s and 2000s called Friends? Well, there was and people apparently still like it. Let’s rate the players’ performances from the Colorado game to those six popular New Yorkers.

5 Stars: Phoebe

I happen to like Phoebe the best. If I were to somehow join this elite group of friends, Phoebe would be my choice. She’s just the perfect kind of loopy, hippy-dippy, eccentric that I think 90s me would like. Plus, she was musical and was the only friend that possessed that talent. She’s really mellow and to boot, she was the only one who lived kind of far away from the rest of them for a longer period of time. She knew that you had to get away from these people for substantial amounts of time to keep liking them.

No KU player was as good as Phoebe was cool.

4.5 Stars: Chandler

The funny guy was really funny, especially in the initial seasons of the show. I think I could hang out with Chandler on a daily basis. He seemed to like the same stuff as I do: sports, beer drinking, foosball. He was more relatable when he was having girl problems (aka pre-Monica) though.

Ochai Agbaji had 24 points and 12 rebounds. The second half was especially good, and KU is going to need this kind of performance from the sophomore from Kansas City if they want to go deep when the business end of the season comes around.

4 Stars: Joey

Much like Chandler, Joey would be easy to hang out with. Unlike Chandler, I would too easily get annoyed with his stupidity. Also, there is no way in hell that Joey could afford that apartment, even with Chandler’s support.

Devon Dotson finished with 18 points and six assists, but 10 of those points came from the free throw line. Dotson also had three turnovers and a few other passes that weren’t his turnovers but could’ve been attributed to him. He has time to clean up the passing.

Udoka Azubuike. He missed all of his free throws after doing so well in Maui. He did make six of seven from the floor and is now shooting over 80% for the season. Why does he even try those crazy fade away hook shots (his one miss) anyway?

3 Stars: Rachel

Ahhhh, Rachel. Every dude in the 90s loved Rachel. They (we) were right. But upon further analysis (past her obvious good looks), her character wasn’t all that great. She acted like a total putz around men, and that is simply not how a person who looks like that would ever act. Unrealistic. And that’s why she’s the three. Also, she loved Ross and Ross sucks.

Marcus Garrett. Too many turnovers for Marcus in this one, but he did have four steals and was great on defense again.

David McCormack. In the first three minutes, it looked like KU’s plan was to just let Dave pop them from the elbow. Maybe he can become an elite passer and be that guy who stands in the middle of a zone and breaks it down? I’m not holding my breath.

Isaiah Moss. Canned two of four from distance and did a decent job defensively in this one.

2 Stars: Monica

Man, I can’t stand the Geller family, and I have no idea how the four listed above could even handle the bottom two, much less marry them/date them/be roommates with them. Monica is completely OCD and not in any kind of good way; she would alienate almost everyone in real life. None of these people would like her. The personalities would clash. It’s unrealistic and I need more realism in my 90s sitcoms.

The rest of the team. I’m hoping that Silvio De Sousa can find a role in this team. Tristan Enaruna struggled to find his game against Colorado, while Christian Braun didn’t do much either.

1 Star: Ross

This guy is the worst. The. Worst. He makes the show unwatchable in the final seasons.

No one was as bad as that clown Ross.

No Rating:

Chris Teahan.