clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Player Ratings to the Theme of Double A

New, 31 comments

Yes, I dislike Jerod Hasse

NCAA Basketball: Kansas at Stanford Stan Szeto-USA TODAY Sports

I have a personal disdain for Jerod Haase as you may have noticed when I posted this two years ago. Anyway, at the very least, he has a unique last name (spelling wise), so I figured we’d rate the players’ performances accordingly. As a side note, I only saw fleeting glimpses of the second half due to family obligations, so these player ratings could be completely off base! After all, the only half I watched closely was one that set basketball back 35 years. Anyway, on to the (probably) wildly wrong ratings.

5 Stars: Hank Aaron

There are simply no better Aaron’s than the former home run king. I tried to think of other Aarons and they were plentiful but would anyone ever put Eckhart, Rodgers, Donald, Paul, or Burr over this guy? The man hit 755 homeruns and had to deal with racist jerks every step of the way. Five stars every time.

No one was as good as one of the greatest home run hitters of all time.

4.5 Stars: Naan

The flatbread staple of Indian restaurants and other eateries of similar descent, naan is delicious. We have an Indian place about a three minute walk from the house and we don’t go there nearly often enough. The one problem that I find is that I could just wolf down the naan without any regard to the others at my table or my general health. Garlic naan is especially addictive.

As far as I could tell, I doubt any Kansas players were as good as delicious naan.

4 Stars: Saabs

Saabs were cool. They had a most unique shape and the ignition was down by the gearshift instead of next to the steering wheel. Weren’t they the first to have windshield wipers on the headlights, too? I always wanted a Saab. They started to get more generic looking before their demise, and I’d like to think that that was the reason for their demise.

Isaiah Moss. Kansas was waiting for a breakout game from the Iowa transfer after some games in which he produced nothing. They got it in this one. He was four of seven from the three-point stripe and finished with 17 points.

Christian Braun. He was more productive than most and finished with three treys and a total of nine points off the bench.

3.5 Stars: AA

Alcoholics Anonymous is an important organization that plays a vital role in the lives of many Americans.

Marcus Garrett. Despite coming off an injury, the junior from Dallas looked solid and scored 12 points on his return. He added five rebounds and four assists. He’s important for KU.

3 Stars: Aardvarks

From Wikipedia: The aardvark is a medium-sized, burrowing, nocturnal mammal native to Africa. It is the only living species of the order Tubulidentata, although other prehistoric species and genera of Tubulidentata are known. Unlike other insectivores, it has a long pig-like snout, which is used to sniff out food.

That’s pretty cool.

Let’s combine Ochai Agbaji and Devon Dotson’s day, shall we? Ochon Dotaji went 10 of 26 from the floor including a not so robust two of ten from three for a total of 28 points. Dotaji also finished with the same amount of turnovers as assists- five of each. Not efficient enough from Ochon. Need better from them against West Virginia.

2.5 Stars: Double- A Batteries

Quite convenient, but I never seem to have one around when I need one. Plus, batteries are bad for the environment.

Udoke Azubuike. The big guy couldn’t handle the double teaming. He did finish with 13 boards. Maybe if I had seen more of the second half, I’d have a better analysis, but he couldn’t do anything in the first and finished with two points, so I think my assumption is fine.

2 Stars: Church Bazaars

I used to have to go to my grandparents’ church “bazaar” every year and there was just table after table of crap. Need a piece of used Tupperware with no lid? How about a pair of pants that went out of fashion fifteen years prior? Yep, you could find those things at this bazaar. Middle eastern and Turkish bazaars are really cool, but we’re not talking about those.

The other guys. Tristan Enaruna had some energy, but the big guys just didn’t have a day at all. David McCormack and Silvio de Sousa tallied a total of two points and four rebounds in 19 combined minutes. And there were plenty of missed shots to grab.

1 Star: Jerod Haase

This guy. Just because he went to KU, doesn’t mean we have to like him.

No one was as bad as this overrated Roy Williams disciple.

No Rating:

Michael Jankovic