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Player Ratings to the Theme of Australian Animals

Jayhawks Maul Kangaroos

The Wildlife Retreat At Taronga Official Opening Photo by Brook Mitchell/Getty Images

Kansas played Kansas City, and that team happens to have one of the most unique mascots in all of college sports, so we here at the player ratings felt compelled to use that to our advantage.

5 Stars: Koala

This is the king of all the Australian animals. This is the one that you stand in line to see in person at special zoos around the country and really make an effort to see them if they visit your hometown zoo on tour (I’ve done both). Plus, they’re cute.

David McCormack scored a career high 28 points and the fact that he did it in only limited minutes because of the blowout is even more impressive. He added seven rebounds.

4.5 Stars: Kangaroo

The UMKC (yes, I’m still calling them that) mascot ranks as the second best of all the Australian animals. Another marsupial, the kangaroo is prevalent in American zoos and they just look really cool when they hop around.

Devon Dotson. That was a pretty quiet 18 points for Devon. Added three assists and three steals.

4 Stars: Platypus

This animal is perhaps the weirdest land animal on Earth. This thing has a duck bill and lays eggs. This creature has a spur on its foot that is venomous to humans. So let’s add it up: Duck bill, ferret body, beaver tail, lays eggs, and is poisonous. Australia is weird.

Marcus Garrett. He started things off with a few three pointers and did what he need to to get his 13.

Udoka Azubuike. This was big Dave’s game, but Dok still had an impressive reverse dunk and ended the game with nine points, five rebounds, four assists, and three blocks.

3 Stars: Tasmanian Devil

Fun fact: little kid dnoll5 didn’t know that the Tasmanian Devil was a real animal. He thought it was just a cartoon that spun around in circles. Kids are dumb.

Silvio DeSousa, Christian Braun, Isiah Moss, and Ochai Agbaji didn’t really have to do anything in this one. De Sousa banked in a hilarious three and Braun hustled a lot. Moss and Agbaji got some rest, I guess.

The walk-ons. They came in after the under four timeout and tried really hard. Elijah Elliot and Michael Jankovich scored points!

2 Stars: Dingo

This is simply a dog, right? Not sure what’s so special about it. My favorite pop culture dingo moment is from Seinfeld when Elaine just busts into an Australian accent at a cocktail party. Link here.

Tristan Enaruna. He chucked up a lot of crap and looked to be pressing too much.

1 Star: Spiders

This is the main reason to never go to Australia. Everything there can kill you. Don’t google Australian spider videos. Just don’t.

No one is as bad as the multitude of killer spiders in Australia.