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Player Ratings to the Theme of Non-Lettuce Salads

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Some food hot takes lie within

Music And Miracles Superfest Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for Basis Entertainment

That was a weird game if you look at it from a “typical Kansas game at Allen Fieldhouse” perspective. KU dug themselves a hole, Iowa State didn’t look intimidated until they looked totally intimidated, they clawed back, and Kansas did just enough to win. Well, today’s ratings are a little weird too. When most people think of salad, they think of lettuce. Not today. Today, we go leaf free and compare the performances to the various types of non-lettuce salads.

5 Stars: Pasta Salad

Man, I love pasta salad. I could eat my weight in it at any given moment. The beauty of the pasta salad is that you can put anything that you want in there. From tomatoes to cheese to little pepperonis to spicy peppers to whatever. And the dressing can be a vinaigrette (my preference) or creamy. So versatile and so good.

Dedric Lawson. Where would KU be without this guy? 29 and 15 again on Monday. He’s your Big XII POY.

4.5 Stars: Potato Salad

Again, this stuff is great. Traditional yellow potato salad is awesome, German potato salad with chunks of bacon in there is delicious. All potato salads are delicious.

Marcus Garrett. This guy is starting to get to the rim at will. This dynamic changes what KU is capable of doing. Oh, and he plays good defense as well.

Devon Dotson. The little freshman would’ve had many more than his 11 points if some bunnies went down at the rim. His eight assists were a career high.

4 Stars: Chicken/Tuna/Egg Salad

I don’t care for tuna salad that much, but I love a good chicken and egg salad. They have basically the same preparation so they are clumped together. I like my chicken salad with a little spicy mustard added and of course some pickles and/or celery to add that zestiness and crunch that makes it so good. And holy moly, I love egg salad. It might be the best of the three.

Yes, Ochai Agbaji fouled out when Kansas needed him most, but that energy he brings is contagious. He’s starting games soon, right?

Pick three or more fruits, toss with a tad bit of fruit juice, and presto, instant awesomeness that is good for you as well.

KJ Lawson. He brings the energy as well, but isn’t as polished as Agbaji. He played some key minutes in this one, and I expect him to keep doing so going forward.

Lagerald Vick made some key baskets for KU, but he needs to be better than two of six from deep for KU to make a deep run this year. This rating is based more on what we expect and need from Vick than anything else.

3 Stars: Cole Slaw

I personally love cole slaw, but there are many out there that don’t. It gets the three-star spot simply because of this love/hate dynamic. And before you ask, I enjoy both creamy and vinegar based cole slaws.

This is where you see a gap in the ratings. No one is a three, but there is a player below.

2 Stars: Ham Salad

This is not in the same ballpark as chicken/tuna/egg and if it has to be explained to you, I’m not sure we can be friends. Prediction: This will be Fizzle’s number one salad.

Quentin Grimes, where are you? Hey Bill, use the Kentucky game to get Grimes right. Thanks.

1 Star: Carrot Salad with Raisins

This atrocity sometimes made its way to family gatherings or holidays when I was a kid and I hope I never see it again.

No one was this bad.

No Rating:

Charlie Moore and David McCormack both played only two minutes.