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Player Ratings to the Theme of Championship Trophies

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It’s the Stanley Cup and then all others

2018 NHL All-Star - PreGame & Mascot Showdown Photo by Dave Sandford/NHLI via Getty Images

Since we just got finished watching the Super Bowl, and the trophy presentation for that game is probably still in our heads, let’s rate the players’ performances to the theme of championship trophies and their perceived greatness.

5 Stars: The Stanley Cup

St Louis Blues v Pittsburgh Penguins Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

There is no debate. The Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy an athlete can lift. The pure elation that a hockey player shows when he gets his hands on the Stanley Cup for the first time is unparalleled. They skate it around the rink after the title, and each player gets to spend time with the cup in the summer following the win.

Unfortunately, no Kansas player was as awesome as the Stanley Cup.

4.5 Stars: The World Cup

Germany v Argentina: 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Final Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images

The World Cup really isn’t a cup, but the fact that it is made of 100% 18-carat gold shoots it up to near the top of the list. It stands just over 14 inches tall and weighs over 13 pounds. Plus, a trophy that is only given out every four years is pretty special.

I’m going to slot Devonte Graham right here in the 4.5 stars spot because that guy is a workhorse. He never rests. Add to it that he often has to will this team out of its lethargy and win it himself, and it makes him all the more worthy. Finished with 24 points, five assists, and six rebounds.

Udoka Azubuike. Sixteen and eleven from the big Nigerian. Made four of seven free throws as well. He’s just a presence that not many teams can handle.

4 Stars: The Green Jacket

The Masters - Final Round Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images

The actual Master’s trophy is kind of stupid, but the tradition of getting a green jacket after winning it is unique to sports. The ceremony where the previous winner also has to participate in putting on the jacket of the new champion is pretty great too.

Marcus Garrett. As Fran mentioned during the game, points are a bonus with Marcus, and he nailed two important threes in this one. I’ll say it again, when he learns how to shoot, KU fans are going to LOVE Garrett.

Mitch Lightfoot. My favorite moment of the game was when Fran quoted Coach Jerrance Howard as saying that if you cut open Mitch Lightfoot, a Jayhawk would fly out. Perfect.

3.5 Stars: The Champions League Trophy

Juventus v Real Madrid - UEFA Champions League Final Photo by Angel Martinez/Real Madrid via Getty Images

The trophy with the big ears (could’ve also included the US Open trophy, British Open trophy, French Open trophy, etc but I used this one mainly to irritate Mike and his anti-soccer habit) is a classic cup. These types of trophies are not as prevalent in American mainstream sports.....but they should be.

Lagerald Vick was destroyed by Bill Self in the media this week, and he showed that he could handle it. Had a few threes rim out, but attacked the basket better than he has in a while. Defense was better too.

3 Stars: The Lombardi Trophy/Larry O’Brien Trophy/The Commissioner’s Trophy

New York Mets v Kansas City Royals

Three pretty average trophies for the three biggest sports in America. The NFL and NBA trophies are pretty similar. They are slender and have a ball at the top. Whatever. The baseball trophy is more intricate, but rather cumbersome when handing it to the winners. This leads me on a tangent- why do we give the trophy to the owner first? In European soccer, the players rightly get the trophy before the owner of the team or the management of the franchise. Even Mikeville must concur that this is the right way to do it.

2.5 Stars: Wimbledon Ladies “Trophy”

Champion's Dinner: The Championships - Wimbledon 2017 Photo by AELTC - Pool / Getty Images

Why does the men’s champion get a legit trophy and the women get a giant serving plate? Seems unfair.

A few KU players weren’t even as good as this faux trophy.

2 Stars: National Title Plaques

Kansas v Memphis Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

Wooden plaques with a generic glass plate with the sport engraved on it? That’s what you get when you win a national title in any college sport except for football. Pretty underwhelming (although I’d gladly take one that says “Men’s Basketball” on it in early April).

Malik Newman and Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk. Malik had an off night from three and Svi was either completely taken out of the game by TCU or was giving Bill Self something to motivate him for later.

1 Star: College Football Championship

CFP National Championship presented by AT&T - Alabama v Georgia Photo by Jamie Schwaberow/Getty Images

This trophy is so dumb I can’t even insult it properly. Please do so in the comments section.

No Kansas players were as bad as this trophy is stupid.