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Player Ratings to the Theme of Fresh Fruit

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Why not?

Kansas v Texas Tech
Get out of here with that! Peaches are the five star and you know it!

Well, KU has won a share of their 14th straight conference title. There will be a lot said about it in the coming days, but this isn’t the place for that. Oh, no. You know what’s important here don’t you? Debating which fresh fruit is the best. Have at it in the comments section. But please note, all of these are delicious choices and on a day that we celebrate #14, we must recognize greatness all the way to the end.

5 Stars: Peaches

There is nothing better than a fresh peach on a summer afternoon. I challenge you to find a more delectable fruit than the freshest of peaches. They are sweet and succulent and messy and delicious. Debate all you want, but you are wrong.

Devonte Graham. Man oh man was he good. He probably sealed up the Big XII Player of the Year award as well, but Devonte, if you’re reading this, please know that you were even better than a ripe peach on a summer afternoon. He absolutely drove KU to the win. He put 14 on his shoulders, and took his teammates for a ride. Magisterial.

Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk. What a first half from Svi. The Ukraninan wound up four of ten from beyond the arc, but it seemed far more efficient than that. His start let KU get off to that fast start as well.

4.5 Stars: Mangoes/Pineapples

I think the 4.5 star section must come with a caveat which is that when these two fruits are fresh and local, they are winners. When they aren’t, they can be average. But eat a pineapple in Hawaii and tell me what you think. Here’s what I think: they’re heavenly.

Malik Newman. Three of four from beyond the three point line will do just fine thank you very much.

4 Stars: Watermelon

Here’s a small piece of info you should know regarding this rating: I would eat an entire ripe watermelon at one time if it were socially acceptable. I know several people who don’t like watermelons and those people are missing out on an essential part of summer. Watermelons are delicious and anyone that says otherwise is wrong.

Udoka Azubuike. Not much the Big Nigerian could do about Tech’s big guy ranging out and canning three pointers, so we’ll give him a break there. Let’s be honest, KU winning #14 is clouding my vision a little, but who cares? Six points and seven boards earns him a four star this time!

3.5 Stars: Raspberries/Blackberries/Strawberries

When these fruits are at their apex of freshness, there are very few that can supplant them. Have you ever picked fresh berries and had a hard time putting the berries in the basket rather than your mouth? If so, you know why these are ranked so high.

Marcus Garrett. I’m scooting him up to 3.5 stars simply because of that dunk. No other reason. That dunk was sweet.

3 Stars: Apples

Ok, now some controversy. I love apples. I eat one every day. There are certainly the most versatile fruit in this post, but most of that comes from their various other applications. But a fresh crisp apple is still pretty darn delicious. The mealy ones lower it to a three.

Lagerald Vick and Mitch Lightfoot. I’ll say this, Lagerald Vick played 39 minutes and scored two points and I am satisfied. Why? Fourteen. Four points, three rebounds, and a block for Mitch.

2.5 Stars: Kiwi

Let the controversy begin. Some people love kiwis. I for one, don’t really care one way or the other. They are certainly inferior to all above them on this list.

No Kansas players earned a 2.5 on the day.

2 Stars: Oranges

Don’t get me wrong, I love oranges (and their little cousins, the clementine), but more often than not, I get a mealy, sour, or otherwise unsatisfying orange. I’m assuming that if I lived in Florida or California or Arizona that I’d feel dramatically different, but I don’t, so two stars it is.

No KU player could be ranked as low as an unripe grocery store orange.

1 Star: Blueberries

Keep in mind that I love all the fruits on this list (and others that aren’t on it), but blueberries are too inconsistent to be great. They are amazing in smoothies but the name of this post isn’t Player Ratings to the Theme of Fruit in Smoothies is it?

No Jayhawk got a one star.

Non-Rating: Things that are delicious/disgusting but aren’t available here.

This list includes Mangosteen (probably the world’s best fruit) and Durian (a cult favorite that tastes like rotten onions and creamy trash if that is a thing).

All players that contributed minutes got rated this time.