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Player Ratings to the Theme of FF

There are many words in the English language with the double F, we rate players according to a few

Visitors Enjoy The Winterland Christmas Themepark Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images

I went to the game last night, so the player ratings could be skewed a little bit based on emotions felt throughout the game, especially the ups and downs concerning Udoka Azubuike. It was hard to enjoy the first half with the uncertainty of the big man’s status, but after Bill Self’s confirmation at the half, tensions seemed to ease and KU’s four guard lineup was dynamite. And, as for the ratings, I wanted to do it about dogs since Wofford are the Terriers, but I think that category is a bit too large. And I’ll be honest, I couldn’t think of anything else for Wofford that would make for a good list, so my wife suggested using the double F in the middle of their name, so that’s what you get.

5 Stars: Waffles

I’m not sure that you can come up with anything in the English language that features the double F that is better than waffles. This breakfast staple is superior to the pancake in every way, not the least of which are the crispy edges and the squares which are custom made to hold as much delicious butter and syrup as physically possible.

Devon Dotson. I thought the freshman point guard was outstanding, especially in the second half. He is so quick and mentioned afterwards that the game just opened up in the second half with only one big man out there. Finished the game with 16 points, three assists, and three steals.

4.5 Stars: Giraffes

Who doesn’t love giraffes? Mother Nature is a strange lass, and the simple giraffe is completely underappreciated in terms of weirdness. I mean, think about it for a second- giraffes average 18 feet in height, 1,800 pounds in weight, and can sprint up to 37 miles per hour. That’s freaky stuff. Also, in “researching” this post, I learned that there are eight different subspecies of giraffes. Cool.

Dedric Lawson. Jay Bilas kept mentioning his “old man game” in the ESPN broadcast on Saturday, and I can’t help but buy into it. Watching him in person, you see the size, you see the athleticism, and then he literally never goes above the rim. Offensively, he finished with 20 points, but against an undersized Wofford, eight rebounds isn’t enough.

4 Stars: Stuffing

Thanksgiving was just a few weeks ago, and stuffing is the best part of Thanksgiving so it takes the impressive four-star spot. You might think that other foods are better on Thanksgiving, but you’re wrong.

Quintin Grimes. The freshman came out of his shell a bit and that looseness seems to be a key. He drove, he pulled up for jumpers, he was on the receiving end of an alley-oop. His best game since the opener by far.

Marcus Garrett. Man, can this kid guard. His offensive game leaves a lot to be desired, but his on the ball defending is really good. And did you see Self fist pumping after a turnover near the under four timeout? That was as pumped as I’ve seen him in a long while. The man loves a good defensive stop.

3.5 Stars: Buffaloes

Sure, the bison is not technically a buffalo, but that’s beside the point. They are one of North America’s most impressive and majestic animals and we, as dumb humans, almost killed them all off. Jeez, we’re the dumbest group of idiots. Side note: water buffaloes are also huge and awesome.

KJ Lawson. The Memphis transfer is going to get some major minutes with Udoka out. He has proved to be a decent piece of the puzzle. Finished with five points, three rebounds, and two assists.

3 Stars: The City of Buffalo

The swing spot goes to the city of Buffalo. On one hand, they invented the Buffalo Wing there. On the other hand, Buffalo Bills fans live there.

Charlie Moore. Made a lot of bad decisions in the first half and then calmed down and started playing better and making more reasonable decisions. With Dotson playing like he is, Moore needs to step up so there isn’t a huge drop off when Devon leaves the court.

David McCormack and Mitch Lightfoot. These guys will have to be contributors for a while with Dok on the sideline. McCormack was good when he immediately came in to replace Azubuike, but the four guard set didn’t allow him to get any meaningful minutes in the second. As for Mitch, his defense was good and probably could’ve replaced Lawson or another player in the early second when Wofford made that small run.

2 Stars: Laff-a Lympics

If you’re a kid of the 1980’s, you likely know about the Laff-a-Lympics. It was a Scooby-Doo spinoff that featured three teams competing against each other in dumb sports events. It was basically a ploy to feature many of the underserved Hanna-Barbera characters in a new format. The team featuring the bad guys always lost.

Lagerald Vick. Didn’t get the start because he was late to a practice and never got into the rhythm of the game.

1 Star: Dandruff

I debated putting sniffles here, but I think dandruff takes the prize for worst FF word in the English language. Correct me if I’m wrong in the comments section.

No KU player was as bad as dandruff.

No Rating:

Udoka Azubuike, Chris Teahan, Garrett Luinstra (just found out that he existed!)