Some people have compared Jay Wright’s suave good looks and fine choices in custom tailored suits to George Clooney, and who am I to argue? He’s a handsome man. He seems like the kind of guy that probably enjoys life’s simple pleasures which according to Clooney, include Nespresso coffee and living in Italy. Seems logical enough, so we’d better rate KU performances based on Clooney movies. Let’s do this.
5 Stars: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
A classic. The Coen brothers nailed this one. It’s just about perfect, and I used to love showing this movie in class when we studied The Odyssey. It blew the kids’ minds. And besides, what’s not to love about a bunch of hick bandits running around looking for treasure and randomly recording a smash hit as the Soggy Bottom Boys? Nothing, that’s what.
Dedric Lawson and Lagerald Vick. At one point in this game, this dynamic duo combined for 50 of KU’s 61 points. That’s just ridiculous. They finished with 57 of KU’s 74. Lawson finished with 28 and 12 while Vick finished with 29 and 7. This would’ve been another epic Villanova blowout if it weren’t for these guys.
4.5 Stars: The Ocean’s Series
Crime capers, Las Vegas, guest stars, Brad Pitt, fake noses, crazy turns of events? Yep, the Ocean’s series has it all. They are all entertaining, and those movies are ones that I always watched when they happened to be on random cable TV.
No one else on the team matched the star quality of Ocean’s 11, 12, or 13.
4 Stars: Various TV appearances
I know this doesn’t exactly fit the criteria of the title of this post, but who cares. Clooney got his big break when he starred on ER, but he also had a recurring role on The Facts of Life and Roseanne (the original, pre-known-racist days). He also guest starred on Friends, The Golden Girls, and Murder, She Wrote.
No KU player was even as good as TV George Clooney.
3.5 Stars: Random Dramas that many people forget about but are quite good
Take your pick. Michael Clayton, Syriana, The American, Good Night and Good Luck, The Men Who Stare at Goats, The Ides of March. His IMDB filmography is loaded with these movies.
KU couldn’t even muster up another player that was good enough to warrant a three and a half star rating.
3 Stars: From Dusk Til Dawn
There is not a more perfect movie for the three-star rating than this one. This is a love it or hate it movie, and you’ll rarely see any in-betweens. Starts off pretty normally, then poof, vampires.
Maybe these players were better than a three, but were they worthy of anything higher? Devon Dotson was probably the best out of the remaining players while Marcus Garrett and his stellar defense definitely earned a three or better. Mitch Lightfoot and KJ Lawson didn’t offend anyone and probably shouldn’t drop any further either.
2 Stars: The Perfect Storm
For some reason, I hated this film. It was either too predictable or I wanted them to survive. I can’t decide which.
I just want Charlie Moore to be better and that goes double for Quentin Grimes. I’ll keep saying it until it happens I guess: once these guys figure it out, watch out.
1 Star: Batman and Robin
Unwatchable. I knew that this franchise was destined for campiness, but man, they hit rock bottom with this one. Clooney seems perfectly suited for the caped crusader (or at the very least Bruce Wayne), but alas he couldn’t shine the way that Michael Keaton did…..or even the way Val Kilmer did.
Despite their best efforts, no KU player achieved Batman and Robin status.
David McCormack played one minute despite six of the other eight players being close to useless.