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Predicting Kansas Football's 2015 Record

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Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Although I am more of a basketball guy, I do have a habit of picking football games/seasons correctly (they don't call me fetchstradamus for nothing) so it only stands to reason I should get my 2015 predictions on the record in honor of David Beaty's first season. Please remember all of these are 100% serious and not satirical.

Game 1 - vs South Dakota State

Even though South Dakota State is ranked 15th in the FCS, they are still in the FCS and I know Kansas would never lose to an FCS team from the Dakotas. Also, as a native North Dakotan, I know that South Dakota is the vastly inferior Dakota. 31-10 Kansas.

Game 2 - vs Memphis

Might I remind you about the last time Kansas faces Memphis? (probably). We will certainly see a reprise this week: Kansas wins 75-68.

Game 3 - at Rutgers

Kansas allowed former wide receiver who inexplicably never got the ball thrown to him Andrew Turzilli to transfer to Rutgers and thus make a bowl game. They certainly owe us in the form of a victory this year. 21-17 Jayhawks.

Game 4 - at Iowa State

Kansas beat Iowa State last year, and as we all know that is a guaranteed victory. Expect lots of BOOOOOOS as the Jayhawks take down the Cyclones. I'm sorry, I mean Hawkeyes. 31-17 Kansas.

Game 5 - vs Baylor

Baylor has come under fire for housing a felon on campus for the last year, and by the time these two square off the entire team could be suspended. If not, Baylor QB Seth Russell was once a Kansas commit, so much like Rutgers they owe us via a win. 14-7 Kansas.

Game 6 - vs Texas Tech

Texas Tech has the worst coach in the league (finally it's not us!) and to celebrate climbing out of the basement in that regard we will dominate the Red Raiders, 55-10.

Game 7 - at Oklahoma State

Kansas basketball can seemingly never win in Stillwater (probably because they want to get out of that hell hole as fast as possible) but naturally they are just saving up for a big football win. Jayhawks 21-20.

Game 8 - vs Oklahoma

Last year's game saw Semaje Perine break the single game rushing record, so now it is Ke'Aun Kinner's turn. Kinner goes for 669 (nice) yards in a 51-21 win for the Jayhawks.

Game 9 - at Texas

Texas is in (comparably) just as bad shape as the Jayhawks, but at least now Charlie Strong is the best coach on campus. Kansas might actually have the better quarterback in this game, and they'll prove it by winning 17-13.

Game 10 - at TCU

Kansas almost beat the Frogs last year, so naturally they'll be itching for revenge. However, TCU almost lost to Minnesota just last night, and the Gophers are awful (not just at football; in general) so Kansas should have no problem in this one. 21-10.

Game 11 - vs West Virginia

West Virginia, astounded by being around people who aren't married to their siblings, seize up and forfeit. Kansas wins 30-0.

Game 12 - vs Kansas State

In the "you're not missouri but you'll do" bowl, the Jayhawks have to come out wearing ear plugs to avoid Kansas State fans yelling "notice us!" Unfortunately for them, it works and we finally do acknowledge them as a rival and thus beat their asses 55-10.

So there you have it. David Beaty is currently undefeated as a college head coach and it sure looks like he will remain that way after the end of his first season at the helm.