What Would Happen If The Kansas State Band Director Explained Some More Pictures

Recently, the Kansas State football team band displayed an interesting formation during halftime of their game vs. South Dakota.  Despite the fact that it pretty clearly involved a Jayhawk and the, um, swimsuit area of a human male, the K-State band director would have us believe that it was actually a Jayhawk being attacked by the Starship Enterprise (as popularized by the latest Star Trek movie, which featured Big 12 mascots dabbling in interstellar warfare).  We thought that was an interesting interpretation, so we drew him some other possible Jayhawk formations and asked him what he thought they were.  The pictures, and his answers, are below.

{Important disclaimer:  WE DID NOT ACTUALLY ASK THE KANSAS STATE BAND DIRECTOR FOR HIS OPINIONS ON THESE PICTURES.  Most of us laughed when we saw K-State's halftime performance; we're hoping most Wildcat fans can do the same now.}

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"This is the scene from Lion King when Scar lets Mufasa fall off the cliff to his death, except with a Jayhawk in the place of Mufasa."

"This is a Jayhawk's reaction when the OJ Simpson verdict was announced, trying to play it cool in front of his co-workers."

"I could be wrong, but I think this is a Jayhawk having a Christopher Walken impression contest with the surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd."

"This is clearly a Jayhawk taking batting practice on the 80mph setting at the batting cage."

"A Jayhawk at a sold out Boyz II Men concert, circa 1994?  Maybe '95?"

"This has to be a Jayhawk witnessing the Confederate Army officially surrendering the Civil War at Appomattox."

"What's that popular show with Kevin Spacey again?  Oh yeah, this is a Jayhawk binge-watching House of Cards on Netflix so he gets caught up before Season 4 starts streaming."

"This is pretty obviously George Washington crossing the Delaware River.  Weird that there isn't even a Jayhawk in this one."

"A Jayhawk at McDonald's, trying to return his McDouble since he asked for it plain, but they totally put everything on it."

"This is a Jayhawk looking all over his house for his iPhone charger."

"The ancient Greeks had a saying:  "Thanatos ouden diaphereri tou zen", translated as "Death is no different than life."  It was part of the teachings of Thales, who often philosophized on the eternal question of life and death.  To answer your question, I believe this is a picture of a Jayhawk facing off with a stegosaurus."

"This one is kinda tough.  I could see how it could be interpreted a few different ways....but I think it might be a Jayhawk performing a lewd act on a phallic symbol.  Yikes."