(5) Salty Iguana
I'm sure Coach Self wouldn't appreciate the fact that Salty is "only" a 5 seed, but that's why we're making this bracket, and he's coaching the men's basketball team. If he wants to trade, he can give Salty a 1 seed and a bye all the way to the championship game, and I'll go back in time and give Andrew White III more playing time #freeandrewwhite.
Pickleman's probably has my favorite toasted sandwiches in town, but they're stuck with a 12 seed because they're way too small. Flavor matters, and Pickleman's has that in droves, but it gets mitigated by the fact that I never leave satisfied. Yello Sub fills me up; Pickleman's leaves me asking where the other half of my sandwich is.