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Adventures of Bruce & Drew: Vol 2

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In case you missed it, here's a link to Volume 1.

Just a note, all verbal dialogue is in bold and "quote" marks around it. All internal thoughts/monologues are in italics. Any actions are noted with *asterisks*.

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"Hey, Bruce! I know our teams are playing each other tomorrow, but I wanted to tell you... No hard feelings, okay?"

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"Absolutely not. You da man, Scott!"

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"No, you da man, Bruce!"

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I am? ... I'm 'da man'? ... Am I, though? What does it mean to be 'da man'? Am I ready for that kind of responsibility --that kind of burden on my shoulders? My shoulders aren't even that big. Or that strong. What if it falls off, and everyone makes fun of me for having woman shoulders? High school was bad enough after that incident in weights class. I don't know if I wanna do that again.... (trails off)

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"Hey, are you spacing out on me over there? Focus up! This is no time to mess around. You've got a game to lose this weekend."

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"Up YOURS, Scott! You're going to be the one losing this weekend. Because I am. DA. MAN! You just said I was. And 'da man' don't lose."

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"Well 'da man's team has been pretty so-so all season. There's no way you're winning in Waco tomorrow. What are you guys, like, 7th in the conference?"

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"NO, WE'RE EIGHTH! BUT, THAT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE WE'RE NUMBER ONE IN OUR HEARTS. SO, I HOPE EVERYONE IN WACO HAS THEIR HANKIES READY, BECAUSE THE NUMBER ONE TEAM IS WINNING THIS WEEKEND!!!"

*Bruce Weber storms out.*

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What the [expletive] is wrong with that guy?