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Twas The Night Before Blogsmas

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

I am pretty sure this is our fifth installment. In any event, thanks to all the readers, commenters, people who tweet at us and call us stupid, people who tweet at us and call us awesome, people who email us, people who listen to the podcast, people who read, and people who are going to ask SB Nation to give me a raise and/or pimp me out to Grantland/SI/Yahoo/wherever so I can do this full time. Without further ado....

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the blog
not a creature was stirring, likely because of the Phog.
The stockings were hung all over with care
in hopes that a rim protector soon would be there.

The authors were all snuggled tightly in their beds
with dreams of pageviews dancing in their heads.
and Brain in his jammies and Grad drinking a lot
read a great post by me, but Mikeville said "put it in a fanshot."

When into the fanposts there arose such a clatter
and 6thJayhawk ran to see what was the matter.
Off to the fanposts I did look
only to read another post about freaking Garth Brooks.

Then in the blog someone said don't be hasty
we got a new football coach! again! praise Beaty!
Pundits and local coaches gave the hire a passing grade,
And it's about time for Lawrence to be the home of the air raid.

Out of the thread rose our leader once again, and said you're excused
his name was Mikeville, aka brain. Wait, no mikeville, I'm confused.
He gathered the commenters, and 'round they came.
He brought them all, calling them by name.

"On Rivet, on Portland Jayhawk, on triston, on hiphop"
"Get to the OGT with haste, and don't stop."
Then he said, "we're about to start a brouhaha"
Now what can you guys tell me about Panama.

As the monitor screens glowed blue
It was time for the commenters to do what they had to.
Out of their basements they crawled
the thought of which left them appalled.

Then over my head I heard a noise
and knew it was Santa to bring us our toys.
I went to the fire and put out the flame
and soon after down the chimney he came.

He was wearing a Jayhawk suit
Which unfortunately had accumulated some soot.
He had all of our gifts on his back
all jammed into a great big sack.

For Graham he gave him a healed toe,
and "hurry back" he said. "now off you go."
And then, he said to Cliff with a rhyme:
"I'm going to give you some more playing time."

He looked at Charlie Weis, saying get out.
We brought in a great coach; of that I have no doubt.
He shot a few more gifts our way,
But made sure he was inside the line. Don't want to shoot from too far away.

It was almost time, but before it was time to leave
He gave the football team their next year's bowl gifts on this Christmas Eve
Speaking of football, he had something ready made;
it was for all of us: a fresh batch of kool-aid.

It finally was time for him to depart
but he couldn't get his sleigh to start
So we all got out and pushed, and finally got it to go
and up into the sky it rose.

As it rose and rose he finally went out of sight

But not before we heard him shout "Merry Blogsmas to all, and to all a good night!"