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Games to (Not) Watch in Week 9 of College Football

Each Thursday, we’ll bring you some key matchups from around the country, so you can plan your weekend accordingly. Warning: No one should watch these games.

Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

This week, there are only two games featuring two ranked teams and those match ups (#20 USC at #19 Utah and #3Mississippi at #24 LSU) have little to no appeal in these parts. Who cares anyway, the Kansas City Royals are in the World Series.

So, while this column space is usually dedicated to high quality football, this week we’ll focus on some of the more pitiful contests in the country. If you’re into football, you could spend your time watching these games, especially if you’re in it for a good laugh.

#1 Mississippi State at Kentucky

Neat. A team no one knew was good at the beginning of the season against a basketball school! Seriously, the Bulldogs were ranked 36th in the preseason poll, thus proving once more that no one knows what in the hell they’re talking about before football season starts. And, Kentucky plays football? I guess that I can’t really poke fun at UK’s football team and history considering I write for RCT, but as the resident uniform analyst for the site, what I can tell you is that they look like clowns more weeks than necessary. Look at this. Atrocious. And atrocious is the exact adjective I’d use to describe this matchup. It’s on at 2:30 CT on CBS for those of you who care.

Michigan at #6 Michigan State

Remember when Michigan was a football school and Michigan State was a basketball school? This Michigan football program is so laughable right now. The only thing that would make this matchup any more delightful for UM haters is if it were at the Big House and filled with Spartans fans. Watch the carnage at 2:30 CT on ABC.

Texas Tech at #10 TCU

The Red Raiders just gave up 21 points to Kansas. How do they expect to hold the nation’s fifth highest scoring team at bay? They can’t, and they won’t. Texas Tech used to be able to score with anyone, disregarding defense in the process. That was fine when Tech was putting up 50 per game, but now that they can’t score with such ease, not being able to stop anyone has proved to be a problem. Meanwhile, TCU is on a collision course with K-State to make the Big 12 championship come down to two teams playing in the worst color on earth, purple. Great. It’s on at 2:30 CT on Fox.

#15 Arizona at Washington State

This is how crappy the Pac-12 is: The fifteenth ranked team in the country is only a two-point favorite against a team that is 2-5 overall and 1-3 in conference. Granted, I did no research into Wazzu’s schedule; they may well have played a plethora of quality opponents. I’m just making assumptions on raw numbers because I have no interest in seeing if WSU and Arizona match up well against each other. I’d rather just make fun of this game. Besides, no one I know will be watching this thing. The fact that it’s only on regional west coast television and I know no one on the west coast is completely irrelevant.

Rutgers at #16 Nebraska

Rutgers is in the Big 10. I still can’t digest how stupid and useless this fact is. I bet the Big 10 has no regrets taking this team just to say that it has a share in the New York television market. Have you ever met a Rutgers fan? Yeah, me neither. I guess they exist, but the bastardization of conference realignment has hit its absolute apex with this unfortunate matchup of teams that didn’t even know the other existed two years ago. ESPN must also really care about the NY market, relegating this game to the 11:00 AM CT time slot.