We're back for season 2 of Rock Chalk Talk fantasy football and with that our always light hearted attempt at power rankings.
If this seems like a personal attack or a joke at your expense, it probably is. But don't get to bent out of shape because everyone get's theirs at one point or another during the long season.
Kickoff is Thursday, be ready!
1. Denver's Fighting Gillgino's
- Once again the Fighting Gillgino's knocked the draft out of the park with a HUGE pickup getting Kyle Orton in the 7th round. The GM of this team is about as brilliant as a pre-2009 Lew Perkins and could be well on his way to guiding this team to a division title in the toughest division in football.
2. Tosche Station Power Converters
- If ever there were a team that is more unhappy about being a part of a league I haven't seen it. The Power Converters kicked and screamed the entire way into a voluntary 18 person league. The funny part, the Converters were unstoppable a year ago. Sounds to me like we've got a "Texas" on our hands here folks. Greed rules the day. Good luck Bensa.
3. Kansas Farm Boys
- Their balanced, their Kansans and their Farm Boys. Best pick of the draft could be Carson Palmer in the 5th round. After all Chad OchoCinco and Terrell Owens are going to command a whole lot of throwing in that Bengals offense.
4. RockemChalkem Robots
- A lot of potential on this team including Tony Romo, Steve Smith and Pierre Garcon. As long as walshdollar can keep this team from any pop singers or practice field boxing matches they could be good. The only other concern has to be the Chicago defense and how long they can hold up before they enter a nursing home.
5. Bourbon and Water
- Peyton Manning leads the charge with solid support from a Steelers D, Jason Witten and DeAngelo Williams. Factor in one of the better play on word names and you've got the makings of a top five team. The real deciding factor will be whether or not the real Brandon Bourbon ever plays in 2010. If he doesn't...hmmm?
6. Miz-Who?
- Phillip Rivers, Rashard Mendenhall, the Eagles D...the more I look at this team the more I like them as a favorite. But anytime you even mention a portion of the M word it's an automatic deduction from your power ranking. It's only the first three letters, but it will plague this crew all season long.
7. I Want Kande
- Another classic play on names and a player that actually played in game one no less. I Want Kande has some old guy from Mississippi who swears this is his last season. Throw in two solid picks in Hakeem Nicks and Dez Bryant at receiver and it's a good looking crew.
8. Antonio Cromartie is My Dad Too
- I don't understand the context, but it's funny anyway. It fits too considering this team has a few headcases including Brandon Marshall and Percy Harvin sans the Smoke-a-Thon. However since it's KC I can't bring myself to put him higher than 8th on the preseason rankings because he always seems to win these damn things anyway.
9. Dolphin Safe Whalers
- I really like this team, but a lot of Saints and a lot of Packers. Better hope things go well for both of those teams. Also I have to wait and see if his seal clubbing tendencies return or if this change to hippy environmental friendly happiness is for real.
10. The Beltway Mudslingers
- Say it in your best NFL films voices and this might be the best name in the league. Beltway tried to skip out and pull their own conference realignment bail during the initial signup but after a friendly jab from above, the Mudslingers are back in the saddle with their two historic rivals the Gillgino's and the Fighting 5.7's.
11. The Despicables
- The fantasy point machine Adrian Peterson along with Ronnie Brown and Marques Colston make this a dangerous team. A potential weakpoint? The Broncos defense. Could battle for the divisional title and a playoff spot however if all goes well.
12. NY Chiefs
- After my attempt to eliminate the Chiefs from the league Labba hassled me into letting him back. Now he's proceeded to draft a team full of old timers and fantasy studs of yesteryear. Will he need a divisional forfeiture to make it to the playoffs again?
13. Hodja Camels
- Youth and inexperience but plenty of explosion on this roster. The Camels will go as far as the arm of Kevin Kolb can take them. Watch out for Mike Vick and his pitbulls though, they might very well be in Andy Reids ear looking to wreck the season.
14. Trending Meme
- Biggest whiner in football, Jay Cutler...and no I'm not a Broncos fan. Cutler Sucks, so this team sucks...until he proves me otherwise. Good luck Warden : )
15. You got Angused
- After this weekend the name would suggest that this team will provide very little in terms of intimidation and/or production. Focus might be a problem and a tip toeing style might get in the way of the natural talent. Am I still talking about a fantasy team?
16. Supercharged Stuckey's
- I'm going to go ahead and guess that you missed the draft. If not, solid work..you must like a challenge. Either way the Stuckey's have a great name and the Jets defense is much better now that Revis is back on board so a climb up the rankings could be just what the doctor ordered.
17. Perpetual Dolemite
- The prison league champions bring a pot smoker in Ricky Williams, a dog fighter in Micheal Vick and everyone's favorite Pittsburgh Steeler, Ben "Don't Call me Kobe" Roethlisburger. The bright spot? CJ Spiller is a big time sleeper.
18. The Fighting 5.7's
- Worst owner in fantasy sports period. ok, ok...the team looks decent. But this is my one chance to put KUGrad at the bottom so I'll take it. Just don't spit in my chicken sandwhich, please?