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I Swear, Sean Sutton Looks Like a Rat

I am still battling the cough and runny-nose and of the flu virus still making its way through America, but in honor of Sherron Collins, who is playing through yet another injury, this time a 'bruised right knee' suffered in Boulder, tomorrow afternoon in Stillwater, I have decided to see what I can tell you about the Pokes in the 13-or-so hours before tipoff. But before we get to the actual basketball team, I have some sad news. For the only time all season, at least I hope so, I will not be able to watch, on television, the Kansas Jayhawks. You see, as many Full Courts and DirecTV pro-plus-plus packages you buy, there is no way to decide which CBS game you see when it is bracketed regionally. And tomorrow, the Jayhawks have been given the unfortunate distinction of being matched up against the Duke Blue Devils in the 4 PM timeslot, eastern time, meaning that no one outside of small circles around Kansas City and Stillwater will be able to actually watch the game. I'm not positive of that, CBS doesn't want to display their regional charts for some reason or another, but I am positive of the country's love/hate relationship with the Blue Devils.

All of that equals a sick 2 hours staring at a computer screen updating every 30 seconds, a depressing way to watch a basketball game. However, almost every fan in America has to "watch" at least a handful games of their team like this a year, and the fact that, thanks to my Full Court and DirecTV pro-plus-plus package, I only have to do it once is quite a testament to the national fan base of the Kansas Jayhawks.

But, the one positive to not being able to watch the game on the telly is the fact that Sean Sutton's face will not be randomly inserted during breaks. You see, Coach Sutton has, whether through pure genetics or some freak accident, looks curiously similar to a rat.

And I mean this in the not-make-fun-of kinda way, I would hate to kick a man who will most likely be fired at the end of the season, considering he just won the first road game of his 50-game career Saturday afternoon, but I'm not going to lie. There are multiple similarities, and the likeness only increases when Sutton is either a) sick or b) losing by 20 or more points or, better yet, c) both. And with the flu virus making its rounds across America, I wouldn't be surprised to see A be taken care of. B? Let's hope.

How we get Sean Sutton to look like a rat? It really isn't all that hard, shut down chunky PG Byron Eaton, and great things happen. The problem is, neither Baylor (25 points) or Texas A&M (game-high 17 points) could, and thus, L's to Coach Rat. And with the way our guards have played defense the last three weeks or so, Eaton and Company certainly do have a chance. Of course, Eaton does not score all of the Pokes' points, he doesn't even lead the team in scoring. That distinction is held by onetime KU target, freshman James Anderson who is dropping in 14.5 a night. Granted, his consistency reminds one of our own Brandon Rush, as he has not scored more than 20 since the beginning of a new year (12/31 against Northwestern State) yet still has scored in double figures all but thrice. While not as consistent as our own favorite #25, he has had three four-point games thrown in amongst the double-digits, including just last Saturday, he certainly reminds some of Rush. Or maybe that is just me.

Eaton will also need some help from Obi Muonelo, another guard who lit it up on his first night in the starting 5 in Norman, putting up 25 points and securing a place in the starting lineup ever since. Of course, he then went to score a combined 22 points in his next three games, but hey, one hot night is all it takes to break into the Cowboys' lineup.

In the post, they have a whole bunch of nothing, although 6'9" Marcus Dove is quite the defender. Despite his height, and the Pokes' plethora of guards, he is listed as a G-F, a sign more telling than most of Sutton's preference of the perimeter-oriented type, just as he was while he was a youngin', playing for his dad. Their last guy off the bench, and supposed three-point specialist, is Tyler Hatch, who possess some of the greatest hair of all time. In a negative way, I guess. You make the call. Bring on the Cats included Mr. Hatch in his Big 12 All-Hair Team, in case you want to see a picture.

So, there you have it. The Oklahoma State Cowboys, an extreme guard-oriented team with a coach who doesn't know how to win on the road. So, luckily, he takes on the Jayhawks tomorrow afternoon in the mostly friendly confines of Iba Gallagher Arena, a place where he has proved he can win. Sometimes. This may one of the last chances for Rat Face to save his job, a marquee win over the Jayhawks would go a long way for at least another year on the job. So, look out for a pumped-up Cowboys unit, a sick and disheveled-looking head honcho in a bright orange tie, and Sherron Collins out on the court in full body armor to prevent further injury.

Oh, and as far as what actually takes place on the basketball court? Well, I'll say that our guards still don't approach our non-conference defensive form, but someone absolutely blows up, I'll say Darrell Arthur, and after some anxious minutes at the beginning, we coast to a 24 point victory. Same ol', same ol' conference season stuff for this Jayhawk team.

Just don't ask us to playing a NCAA Tourmanet team on the road in conference play...