Kansas Jayhawk News and Notes
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The Daily Mauling: 10.25.2023
Well, we hit a little snag when the universe sort of collapsed on itself but Dad seemed cautiously optimistic. Craaaap!
The Daily Mauling: 10.24.2023
Don’t say revenge. Don’t say revenge. Uh, revenge? That’s it. I’m gettin’ out of here.
The Daily Mauling: 10.23.2023
Marge, how many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count. I’ll just estimate- uh, nine.
The Bye Week Open Thread
Uh, excuse me. I’d like to request $17 for a push broom rebristling.
The Daily Mauling: 10.17.2023
You, Smithers? Oh, no, my dear friend. I have planned a far greater reward for you. When I pass on, you shall be buried alive with me.
The Daily Mauling: 10.16.2023
Anyway, it’s time for the church picnic. What? They had a picnic last week. No, they didn’t. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church. If God didn’t want us to eat in church... he would have made gluttony a sin.
The Weekend Mauling and Open Thread: 10.14.2023
Please don’t tell anyone how I live.
The Daily Mauling: 10.13.2023
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to prove to you not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty... but that he is also innocent of not being guilty.
The Daily Mauling: 10.12.2023
Now, Son, on your first day of school... I’d like to pass along the words of advice my father gave me. Homer, you’re dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it. Lousy traumatic childhood.
The Daily Mauling: 10.11.2023
It’s really coming down. Could you check on the boys? They’re fine.
The Daily Mauling: 10.10.2023
Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals— except the weasel.
The Daily Mauling: 10.9.2023
Oh, no. They’re gaining on me. Wait! I have an idea! These wieners will give me the quick energy I need to escape!
How to Watch: Central Florida at Kansas
Game time, channel, odds, and more for today game
The Weekend Mauling: 10.7.2023
Who are we? The Wildcats! Who are we gonna beat? The Wildcats!
The Daily Mauling: 10.5.2023
Well, you’re about to get a whole lot angrier, because we have the extramarital extraterrestrial backstage in a soundproof booth where he can’t hear us.
The Daily Mauling: 10.3.2023
I said it before, and I’ll say it again. Ay, caramba!
The Daily Mauling: 10.2.2023
Surely theres no harm in laying in the middle of a public street. Not the elephants!
How to Watch: Kansas at Texas
Game time, channel, radio, and more for today’s game
The Weekend Mauling: 9.30.2023
You’ll see all your favorite soccer stars... like Ariaga, Ariaga II, Bariaga, Aruglia, and Pizzoza!
The Daily Mauling: 9.29.2023
Well, whenever I’m confused I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.
The Daily Mauling: 9.28.2023
And here’s a picture even you can figure out! It’s a door! Use it! That’s a door?
The Daily Mauling: 9.27.2023
Oh, there’s Krusty the Clown. Krusty! Krusty, say something funny. Oh, gee, a joke, huh? Um... uh... funny. Okay, this guy walks into a bar... and takes out a tiny piano and a 12-inch pianist— Oh, no, wait. I can’t tell that one.
The Daily Mauling: 9.26.2023
Now, to the plant! We’ll take the Spruce Moose! Hop in! But, sir… I said hop in.
The Weekend Mauling: 9.23.2023
Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins. Homer Simpson, smiling politely.
The Daily Mauling: 9.22.2023
That was just one little insignificant mosquito. That can’t change the future, right? Right?
The Daily Mauling: 9.21.2023
Then I’m sentencing you to one week of the lowest... most degrading work known to man - janitorial work!