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The Daily Mauling: 3.15.2023
Oh, Lord, my hot plate. I only had two payments left.
The Daily Mauling: 3.14.2024
Man, this is crazy. I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
The Daily Mauling: 3.13.2024
Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Okay, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name? I don’t know…
The Daily Mauling: 3.11.2024
Now Homer, we’ve got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you. Well, wait a minute. I’ve been setting my drinks on these things.
The Daily Mauling: 3.8.2024
"And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends..." went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft. Yay!
The Daily Mauling: 3.7.2024
Uh-uh-uh. You never know what you’re capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane... but last year I proved myself wrong.
The Daily Mauling: 3.6.2024
Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights. In fact, if you play "Maybe I’m Amazed" backwards... you’ll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup.
The Daily Mauling: 3.5.2024
That’s not fair, Nelson. They didn’t have the Killmatic 3000 back then. Hey, records from that era are spotty at best.
The Daily Mauling: 3.4.2024
Hey, this is the only paper in America that’s not afraid to tell the truth - that everything is just fine.
The Daily Mauling: 3.1.2024
It must be the first of the month. New Billboard Day!
The Daily Mauling: 2.27.2024
You can’t hide from me in this house, Bart. I spend 23 hours a day here.
The Weekend Mauling: 2.24.2024
Next, your Mickey Mantle for my picture of Homer on the couch.
The Daily Mauling: 2.23.2024
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
The Daily Mauling: 2.22.2024
In the opening credits, what does the cash register say when Maggie is scanned? The cash register says, "NRA4ever." Just one of the hundreds of radical, right-wing messages inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening.
The Daily Mauling: 2.21.2024
So many rice crackers claim to be low-cal... but only Fujikawa rice crackers make your interiors go bananas. What did I do to deserve this? Oh, right…
The Daily Mauling: 2.20.2024
Look, Marge, that guy has the same last name we do. Taxi!
The Daily Mauling: 2.19.2024
David Crosby, you’re my hero! Oh, you like my music? You’re a musician?
The Daily Mauling: 2.16.2024
Soul? Come on, Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson.
The Daily Mauling: 2.15.2024
Well, this reporter was possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it’s still the best government we have... for now. Well, this reporter was possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it’s still the best government we have... for now.
The Daily Mauling: 2.13.2024
Oh, Kent, I’d be lying if I said my men weren’t committing crimes.
The Super Bowl Mauling
Let’s look at a picture book... The Big Book of British Smiles.
The Daily Mauling: 2.9.2024
"Wel-diddly-elcome, Simpsons." Oh, geez. He actually wrote "diddly." That was thoughtful.
The Daily Mauling: 2.7.2024
I’m not gonna let ‘em treat Poochie like dirt anymore just because he’s the new guy. Right on, Mr. S. Put a sock in it, Roy!
The Daily Mauling: 2.6.2024
Everybody remember, we’re parked under the Sunsphere.