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The Daily Mauling: 3.28.2024
Marge, if you don’t mind, I’m a little busy right now achieving financial independence. With cans of grease? No! Through savings and wise investments. Of course with grease!
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The Daily Mauling: 3.27.2024
Tonight, my reign as Miss American Girl comes to an end and I’d like to apologize one last time for my unfortunate remarks at the United Nations.
The Daily Mauling: 3.26.2024
All right, all right. Give me one bowl. No bowl. Stick. Stick!
The Daily Mauling: 3.22.2024
Yes, son. I’m the best mono-thingy guy there ever was.
The Daily Mauling: 3.9.2024
Hey, wait! I’m okay today. My Mom bought me deodorant.
The Daily Mauling: 3.15.2023
Oh, Lord, my hot plate. I only had two payments left.
The Daily Mauling: 3.14.2024
Man, this is crazy. I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
The Daily Mauling: 3.13.2024
Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Okay, Mr. Burns, what’s your first name? I don’t know…
The Daily Mauling: 3.11.2024
Now Homer, we’ve got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you. Well, wait a minute. I’ve been setting my drinks on these things.
The Daily Mauling: 3.8.2024
"And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends..." went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft. Yay!
The Daily Mauling: 3.7.2024
Uh-uh-uh. You never know what you’re capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane... but last year I proved myself wrong.
The Daily Mauling: 3.6.2024
Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights. In fact, if you play "Maybe I’m Amazed" backwards... you’ll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup.
The Daily Mauling: 3.5.2024
That’s not fair, Nelson. They didn’t have the Killmatic 3000 back then. Hey, records from that era are spotty at best.
The Daily Mauling: 3.4.2024
Hey, this is the only paper in America that’s not afraid to tell the truth - that everything is just fine.
The Daily Mauling: 3.1.2024
It must be the first of the month. New Billboard Day!
The Daily Mauling: 2.27.2024
You can’t hide from me in this house, Bart. I spend 23 hours a day here.
The Weekend Mauling: 2.24.2024
Next, your Mickey Mantle for my picture of Homer on the couch.
The Daily Mauling: 2.23.2024
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?
The Daily Mauling: 2.22.2024
In the opening credits, what does the cash register say when Maggie is scanned? The cash register says, "NRA4ever." Just one of the hundreds of radical, right-wing messages inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening.
The Daily Mauling: 2.21.2024
So many rice crackers claim to be low-cal... but only Fujikawa rice crackers make your interiors go bananas. What did I do to deserve this? Oh, right…
The Daily Mauling: 2.20.2024
Look, Marge, that guy has the same last name we do. Taxi!
The Daily Mauling: 2.19.2024
David Crosby, you’re my hero! Oh, you like my music? You’re a musician?
The Daily Mauling: 2.16.2024
Soul? Come on, Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson.