So the exact scenario I envisioned happened last week, so I picked one of the two tied choices. Which one? I guess you'll have to wait to find out below.
I had way too many articles for this week, so I had to leave a lot of them out. Think I missed something this week? Then you should have sent it in yourself. If others send them in, I try to get them in the list somewhere. Now on to the list.
Honorable Mentions:
Kolten Wong Autographs Baseball With Nonexistent Bible Verse
Looks like someone flunked bible school.
NFL Lifts Dion Jordan's 4-Game Suspension, Suspends Him 4 More Games
Out of the fire, then right back in.
The Dolphins' Stadium Is Literally Built On An Indian Burial Ground
At least no one has turned in to a butt portal yet.
Louisiana-Lafayette Executes Accidental Fake Field Goal To Perfection / High School PAT Banks In Off Opponent's Helmet
More kicking hijinks. Somehow these never get old.
Is This Celebrating Falcons Fan Grabbing Her Friend's Dick? Semi-NSFW
The ruling on the field stands. The video is inconclusive.
And now to the countdown.
#5 Athletics South Africa Begs, Pleads For Mercy
I'm not sure what's worse, that they got sued for a pole vaulting accident, or that a 1 million dollar judgement would force a liquidation.
#4 Lions LB Stephen Tulloch Tore His ACL Celebrating A Sack
Maybe he wouldn't have gotten hurt if he had used a bit more pelvic thrust.
#3 Josh Donaldson Turns Bad Play Into Cool-As-Hell Play
Nothing like stopping the laws of physics to turn a screw-up into an awesome play.
#2 Mighty Mite Football Players Thwarted By Banner
At least this is better than hammering through a concrete wall
#1 Angry Baby Royals Fan Mean-Mugs Tigers Fan, Gives Her The Finger
Looks like someone is raising their kid right.
So there you have it. Are any of these articles good enough to dethrone last week's champion?