It’s over. It’s all over. The regular season has ended and the playoffs are set. The hero has yet to be crowned, but the goat is decided.
The Cream of the Crop: Glengarry Glenn Dorsey
The Bottom of the Barrel: The Wheat Farmers
Yes, for the first time all year, The Wheat Farmers show up at the beginning of our recap. Unfortunately for them, this is not the time of year to do so. Unless, of course, you’re the top team listed. GGD has completed their amazing run and won nine in a row to claim the #1 overall seed.
Interestingly, only five teams finished with a record above .500. To drive the point home, this is a 14 team league. Think about that for a minute.
Let’s go ahead and jump right into the team rankings. Rankings don’t necessarily correlate to playoff seeds due to divisions, as you’ll see.
(Last week's ranking in parentheses.)
1 (1). Glengarry Glenn Dorsey (10-3)
GGD is the #1 seed in the upcoming RCT playoffs, going 6-0 in Division 1 and winning the division by two games. They are by far the hottest team in the league. Week 14 brings a bye week to GGD, and they will await the winner of Denver Fax Machines and The Anti-Dentites in the Week 15 semifinals. It’s RCTFF Super Bowl or bust for GGD.
2 (2). Land Crab (10-3)
Land Crab was the hottest team in the league in the first half of the season, starting 6-0, before getting caught by GGD. This, of course, means they went through the home stretch at only 4-3. Land Crab is the #3 seed due to finishing second in Division 1 to Land Crab. They will face #6 seed Hip Hops Team in Week 14 for the right to play #2 seed Fighting 5.7s.
3 (3). Fighting 5.7s (8-5)
Fighting earned a first round bye due to winning Division 2, albeit by only one game. Despite dropping their last two matchups, Fighting went on a six game win streak which took them above the fray and allowed them to clinch. Fighting will sit at home on bye in Week 14 and await the winner of Land Crab and Hip Hops Team.
4 (5). Denver Fax Machines (7-6)
DFM claimed the #4 seed by finishing second in Division 2. They finished the season on a strong note, winning five of their last six games. They will play The Anti-Dentites in the first round of the playoffs for the right to face GGD in Week 15.
5 (4). The Anti-Dentites (7-6)
The Dentites, as just mentioned, face #4 seed DFM this weekend for the right to play GGD in the semifinals. The Dentites earned the #5 seed by finishing third in Division 1, three games behind GGD and Land Crab. The Dentites are entering the playoffs on a three game slide, but won 7 out of 9 during one stretch. If Garrett Hartley wasn’t such a disappointment, I might like the Dentites chances.
6 (7). Rock Chalk Tupac (6-7)
Despite coming in at #6 in our power rankings, Tupac did not qualify for the championship bracket. Winning three of their last four was not enough to overcome a five-game losing streak in the middle of the season. The loss to Hip Hops Team back in Week 8 turned out to be the difference maker – both teams went 3-3 in divisional play, so head-to-head determined who qualified for the championship bracket.
7 (10). Papa Wheelie’s Boys (6-7)
PWB finished 2-4 in divisional play behind the 3-3 Tupac and Hip Hop squads, which is why they failed to qualify for the championship bracket. Of course, both of their divisional wins came against…? That’s right, Tupac and Hip Hop. If PWB would have defeated any of Dante’s Afro, The Pinkys, Fighting 5.7s, or Denver Fax Machines, then they would have a chip and a chair at the big boy’s table.
8 (6). Hip Hops Team (6-7)
HHT, however, did qualify for the championship bracket, thanks to the above mentioned tiebreaker over Tupac. They definitely made it interesting by putting up a choke-job worthy 57 points in the regular season finale vs PWB. However, the loss ended up not hurting them, and they will face #3 seed Land Crab this weekend for the right to play Fighting in the semifinals. Just be glad Peyton Manning isn’t playing the Chiefs (or the Ravens). It’s worth mentioning that HHT was the lowest scoring team in the league, averaging only 88 points per week.
9 (8). The Pinkys (6-7)
The Pinkys ended the season on a four game slide, and that was enough to keep them out of the championship bracket. They finished the season with a whimper, ranking 13th, 10th, 10th, and 12th in points scored over the last four weeks.
10 (9). Sharknadoes (6-7)
Sharknadoes couldn’t overcome a stretch of the season where they lost five of six. If they would have beaten the Dentites in Week 8, these two teams would be flip-flopped.
11 (12). Dante’s Afro (5-8)
The second lowest scoring team in the league, DA was widely regarded throughout the season as the worst team in the league. Fortunately for Afro, they saved their best performance of the year for last, putting up 150 points, defeating Tupac and knocking them out of the championship bracket. Afro finished last in Division 2 despite going 3-3 within the division.
12 (13). The Jayshox (5-8)
The Jayshox also pulled out a victory in the final game of the year due to the Dentites throwing in the towel and starting Robert Griffin (23 points) and Bilal Powell (5 points) over Russell Wilson (33 points) and Fred Jackson (19 points). Also, Garrett Hartley is a bum. I’m not bitter at all.
13 (14). Mantis Shrimp Murder Sticks (5-8)
MSMS was not a fan favorite this year by any of the guests (especially PenHawk, if I recall correctly). MSMS was the ONLY team to go winless in divisional play (0-6). Winning the regular season finale over The Pinkys after a six-game slide brought MSMS up from the bottom.
14 (11). The Wheat Farmers (4-9)
Ah, the Wheat Farmers, the most unlucky team in the history of fantasy football. Oh, you don’t believe me? Well, consider the fact that they ranked #14 in points against, with a weekly average of 110, a full five points higher than the next most points against. Also consider: Week 1, Demaryius Thomas, 31 points. Week 1, Anquan Boldin, 29 points. Week 4, Victor Cruz, 27 points. Week 5, Tony Romo, 53 points. Week 8, Jordy Nelson, 26 points. Week 9, Nick Foles, 54 points. Week 9, Chris Johnson, 30 points. Week 10, AJ Green’s Hail Mary reception at the end of regulation, 24 points. Week 12, Steelers DEF, 27 points. Week 13, Peyton Manning, 38 points (called it, FYI). Week 13, Ben Tate, 28 points.
What a fail. To put it in perspective – if GGD had The Wheat Farmer’s schedule, GGD would only be 7-6.
IMAG0945 (via crmp0007)
OK, I’m done complaining. I have already called upon the mercy of the court. Justice, in one way or another, will be served.
Good luck to all those who qualified for the championship bracket. Glengarry Glenn Dorsey and Fighting 5.7s await the winners. Enjoy your bye weeks, gentlemen.
Going streaking: Glengarry Glenn Dorsey, nine wins in a row
Going sliding: The Pinkys, four losses in a row
Lots of big scorers this week: Fantasy player of the week: Alshon Jeffery, 45.9 points
Josh Gordon, 45.1 points
Eric Decker, 44.4 points
Peyton Manning, 38.85 points
Russell Wilson (benched), 33.2
Fantasy owner of the week: Denver Fax Machines, 98%
Fantasy owner of the weak: The Pinkys, 70%