RCT Fantasy Football Week 5

Three yards can be the difference between winning and losing. I learned that the hard way this week (in my work league). Stupid Jets pass interfering with Tony Gonzalez all night. Anyway... Let's take a look at RCTFF and see what we see.

The Cream of the Crop: Land Crabs.

The Bottom of the Barrel: The Wheat Farmers, Jayshox

Everyone else is a mix of 3-2 or 2-3. Even the lowest scoring team in the league (Dante's Afro) has managed to win two in a row after squeaking out a victory (over Jayshox) by the narrowest of margins this week, 84.55 to 83.85 (barring any official scorer's adjustments today). That's a win by 0.70 points, for those of us who struggle with math. Don't worry, I used a calculator just to be sure.

Somehow, Hip Hops Team is 3-2 despite having the second lowest total "Points For" in the league. Incredible. Fantasy football is indeed truly a crapshoot.

With apologies to Mitch Holthus and Len Dawson, it's time to put the hammer down. Speaking of, this week I was able to get some time with Len Dawson and asked him to comment on our teams. Be forewarned, Len sometimes gets fantasy and reality mixed up.

1. Land Crab (5-0). The only remaining unbeaten team, they're playing pretty good team ball. They've also played a good schedule, with all opponents played currently 3-2 except one that is 2-3.

Len says, "This team is legit, and probably won't be seriously tested until they play at the Broncos in Week 11. It's the NFL, though, you have to come ready to play every week. It's time to go out to the garage and get the hammer."

2. Papa Wheelie's Boys (3-2). They've scored over 100 points in three weeks now. They already have a loss to Land Crab. If they want to catch up, they'll need to keep winning, and that means scoring more points.

Len says, "I agree."

3. Rock Chalk Tupac (3-2). They've already played the worst two teams in the league. Is their record a little inflated?

Len says, "You have to give them credit for beating who they're supposed to beat, I suppose."

4. Mantis Shrimp Murder Sticks (3-2). After dropping two in a row, MSMS got back on track with a win this week.

Len says, "Good for them, they needed that."

5. The Anti-Dentites (3-2). The schedule suddenly becomes more difficult for The Anti-Dentites, as their next five games are all away games. It's very tough to get a win on the road in the NFL.

Len says, "Except for in Jacksonville."

6. The Pinkys (3-2). This team came closest to beating Land Crab, only losing by 1.25 points back in Week 2. If only they could have done something just a little different, they'd be tied for first.

Len says, "Good point."

7. Hip Hop's Team (3-2). This team has yet to break 100 points this year. They are the second lowest scoring team in the league. In the NFL, you are what your record says you are. We'll find out next week when they face The Wheat Farmers.

Len says, "He did NOT need to fumble there."

8. Denver Fax Machines (2-3). DFM has a pretty favorable upcoming schedule, with 5 of their next 6 games at home. Hopefully they can use the fan support to push their record up above .500.

Len says, "Of course, no home field advantage compares to Arrowhead when the Chiefs are playing the way they are this year."

9. Glengarry Glen Dorsey (2-3). This team is 0-3 when scoring less than 100 points. That seems to be their magic number.

Len says, "Score more points, fellas!"

10. Fighting 5.7s (2-3). This team is 2-1 when scoring less than 100 points.

Len says, "That seems to be their magic number. But I think scoring more points is more beneficial. That way you don't have to rely on your defense as much."

11. Sharknadoes (2-3). They started off impressively, but have faltered of late and are on a three game slide. They need to score more points, too. Or, they could play better defense.

Len says, "Either one would help them win games."

12. Dante's Afro (2-3). What looked like one of the worst teams in the league early on has come back to win their last two games, albeit the last one by the narrowest of margins. We'll see if they can hang with Land Crab in what is sure to be a crazy atmosphere at Dante's Afro Stadium.

Len says, "Yep."

13. The Wheat Farmers (1-4). Ugh, where do I begin? Len, what advice do you have for me here?

Len says, "They can't run, they can't catch, and they can't stop anyone. They have a good quarterback, but with an offensive line this bad, it doesn't matter. You have to block for the quarterback! You can't have him getting his bell rung like that all the time out there. You can't do a McLemore dance if you have a concussion."

14. The Jayshox (1-4). These guys had a great game in Week 1, but something happened between then and now. After scoring the most points in Week 1, they've finished last in scoring in two weeks, and next to last in another week.

Len says, "Maybe there's some disfunction in the locker room. I don't know, what I do know is, they need to get it fixed. Otherwise, they'll be getting fitted for dancing shoes sooner rather than later."

Going streaking: Land Crab, five wins in a row

Going sliding: The Jayshox, four losses in a row

Fantasy player of the week: Tony Romo, 53 points

Fantasy owner of the week: Glengarry Glen Dorsey, 100%

Fantasy owner of the weak: Sharknadoes, 68%

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