RCT Mailbag!

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Week 2 of the mailbag features a handful of questions from an esteemed commenter as well as a couple KU football questions that I take a stab at, as well as (hopefully) our esteemed editor.

All of these questions come from commenter fizzle406. I'm burning them all now because there aren't a ton of other ones in the queue (you guys are lazy)

Q: A crazy billionaire will pay you $1,000 for every day you spend in maximum security prison. How long do you last?

It depends on the situation. If I'm in general population or something I would last exactly 0 days. If it was one of those situations where I was in my cell for 23.5 hours per day I could probably last awhile before boredom made me wanna leave. It would be interesting how the mindset of knowing I could leave anytime would affect how long I'd last. If I was in jail for real I am sure I would break Shawshank style relatively quickly, but if it was just relax on the cot and get comfortable I'd like to think I could make it a month or so.

Q: The 2011-2012 KU bball team is in a fight to the death. Each player gets 1 weapon (non-firearm). Who are the first and last ones out?

This one seems relatively easy to me. T Rob would obviously win because he's huge (though if Tyshawn goes all point plank'n he would have a shot), and Juenemann would be the first one out because he would get down on one knee and start praying and while he did that one of the heathens would come by and bash his head in. No room for mercy in KU Fight Club.

Q Same question as above, only its the football and basketball coaching staffs. I put my money on Dooley to win it all. I bet he fights dirty

Self wins. Easy. He's not the biggest, he's not the fastest, but he has the ability to talk anyone into anything so by the time it was all said and done he probably would have negotiated everyone else out of their weapons. Or he'd stay out of the fray and let everyone else beat each other to death and he'd walk in and deliver the final blow. I'm pretty convinced he'd be the president right now had he gone into politics; I'm just glad he decided to use his powers for good. Not sure who the loser would be to be honest. Probably Weis, given his hip situation.



Q: Lets say you have the ability to sleep with any woman, from any time period you want. If you want 2004 Lindsay Lohan, done. Shes all yours. The only stipulation is it will take 3 years off of your life. Is it worth it and who do you pick?

First off, if the question is "is it worth it to sleep with any woman you want" the answer is yes. Always. As to the who is it, the candidates are many but let's break it down:


I was born in 1987, so keep that in mind. No 1960s (70s? I have no idea) Farrah Fawcett for me.

1 - 2010 (or so) Marisa Miller. A bit of a darkhorse candidate to start out with and for some reason a bit of an under the radar name (at least from what I see), but you can't deny this is perhaps the best SI Swimsuit pic ever. (Also probably not safe for work)

2 - 2002 Tara Reid. She has fallen off like a mofo in recent years, but in 2002 she was in Van Wilder and she looked beyond fantastic.

3 - Now(ish) Erin Andrews. She seems like she would be fantastic

4 - 1999 Britney Spears. This one almost won it for me as the Baby One More Time video was a favorite of 12 year old fetch's but Spears had just turned 18 right around the time the video was released and so age concerns knocked it down for me. 12 year old me would have murdered my parents to get with that though.

5 - the last season of Friends until now Jennifer Aniston. She's 43ish, but man she's still got it. She also looks like she hasn't aged a day from when Friends last aired which bodes well for if you were in it for the long haul.

The winner, however....

Tiffani Amber Thiessen. If you follow me on twitter you know I have an affinity for Kelly Kapowski, but I am going to cop out and pick any year of her life because she is perfection.



Q - There is a device where if you push a button, you get $1 million dollars. You can push it as many times are you want. However, each time you push the button, someone you have physically touched in your lifetime dies. It might be someone you brushed up against at the grocery store 20 years ago, might be your signifcant other, might be a random guy you met at a party in college. What do you do?

I'd have to think about how many people I've touched in my life accidentally. I don't think it's a lot, so I'd probably have to either pass or push it once and pray nothing bad happened. Or else I would go out and give out a ton of high fives and pat everyone possible on the back and then go home and push that mofo until it was worn out.

And finally, the shortest and easiest answer of the night....



Q - Withey is rapidly moving up my favorite Jayhawk of all time list. Under what conditions will Jeff Boschee be knocked off your top spot?

Not possible.



Q: I'm still not sold on Charlie Weis, or whether a coaching staff with primarily NFL experience can succeed in the college game. Can you assuage my concerns?

-From Tom F.

Two answers on this one, one from Owen and one from Fetch.

Owen:

I can't do it. Not because I don't think it's possible but because let's be honest, Kansas has been a historically difficult place to win consistently in football. Generally speaking I don't think the fanbase has demanded it and while that may be changing, it's going to be an uphill climb.

I DO think that we are in infinitely better hands than we have been the last two seasons so there is that. I guess the optimist in me is hoping that the method he is using is unconventional and somehow brilliant in adding fifth year players like Crist and transfers like Heaps, etc.

Weis also seems like someone out to prove something and he seems to have a sense of urgency in doing so. If he can get the ball rolling in terms of winning, generate the fan enthusiasm that we had in 2006-2009, and then find the successor to Crist, Heaps, Baty we could be looking at a tipping point.

Here's the thing. We know this is short term. If it's going to change our historical pattern then Weis will need to win and set up the next guy to win. Then we'll need a seamless transition to someone who views Kansas as a longterm option. Maybe I'm asking to much, maybe I didn't answer your question, but that's about how I feel about Weis and what he has to do at Kansas.



Fetch:

Hang on, let me inject some kool-aid (/injects kool-aid).

Firstly, I think it's important to note that with Crist and Heaps the quarterback position is at the very least solid for the next three years. That's something we haven't had in awhile and I think it's going to be noteworthy how much of a difference that makes with the offense. Secondly, teams running pro style packages have done pretty well lately, and while I'm not saying Kansas is going to turn into Alabama overnight, there's something to be said for running a system and having coaches that have been in the NFL, because kids ultimately want to play pro football. Lastly, I think that, especially in the trenches and with things like covering receivers, that football is football and if you can teach it to pros you can teach it to college kids.

That's it for the mailbag this week. If you have a KU question, a general question (and we have a good one already) or a nonsense question feel free to get them in ASAP.
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