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Jayhawks vs. Clawed the Eagle

KU v AU Primer

Sat, 29 Dec. 7pm CDT

Game facts:

-American University is not in fact, the "Fightin' 'mericans". They are the Eagles. I think with a big enough petition, we can change that. I think we need to change that

-I tried to find some stats to predict the outcome of the game, and got nothing, so I went further and used a computer simulation for my prediction. Unfortunately, my budget for both software and hardware were exceeded some time ago. Using NCAA Hoops '97 on my Apple IIGS, I was successfully able to predict that we will see Jacque Vaughn have a breakout game, but watch for Ostertag...he's gonna be big in the paint on Saturday. For AU, Player 34, 66, 19, 3 and 12 will all start, and each will play all 40 minutes of the game, even when their stamina bars get down to almost nothing and they slow down. Poor coaching decision on the part of the simulation, but I think it's probable.

-This game was mistakenly scheduled when HCBS was drunk off his rocker at The Salty Iguana early last summer. He stood up from the bar, and yelled out, "EFF IT! My boys will take on ANYONE. My boys are gonna *urp* take on AMERICA! *urp*". At this point, Coach Dooley, also drunk at the time, wrote on a napkin, "Schedule America!". The exclamation point in that note later became spotted with some excess Margarita, and bled down to form an "N". "Schedule American" was what Coach Dooley had for notes from the "meeting" the previous night, so that's what he did. True Story.

-American University competes in the "Patriot League". I think this crap is getting to be some major overkill. Next, someone will tell me their colors are Red, White, and Blue!

-Someone just told me their school colors are Red, White, and Blue.

-American University has made it to the NCAA's before, twice ('08 and '09). Yes, I was kidding so far, but they aren't a complete disaster. Especially when you consider that recently, they have had some success.

-Honestly, I think we'll see a little rust here and there with the post-holiday funk thing, but I don't foresee the game really raising my blood pressure. Kenpom does't have a lot of love for 'em, and Sagarin likes 'em even less. I got a cramp in my finger scrolling down that far to find them.

-Update....I just now heard that their masot is actually called, "Clawed the Eagle". Yes, as in, Clawed. Adjective, or Verb, because it shouldn't be a noun, my friends.

-Pop Culture Sightings: Scan the crowd for some famous AU grads, who could pop up! First person to find, and take a picture with Judge Judy wins! Star Jones could show up too. I know the travel to AFH might be rough, but you never know. Plus, you can't hate these guys because Max Brooks apparently went there. And, yes, I know about the punch, but Kermit Washington was a helluva a player, and the people that know him say he's a sweetheart (amazingly, this isn't sarcasm).

-As bad as Lawrence had it being, you know, burned to the ground by some people we won't talk about....AU can compete. You see, their campus was once the sight of Chemical Weapons testing. The internet says so...it must be true. If their team comes out of the locker room led by Professor Farnsworth, and they all look like mutant men, we might be in for a game.


-AFJ

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