Here are a couple excerpts: >RECRUIT JUCOS You can't do that. >RECRUIT SHORT JUCOS. You sign a class of tiny junior college transfers. >Sign Finnish punter He has signed with Missouri. >Explain He likes vintage pornography in the original VHS format and methamphetamine And >Try to boost morale amongst your coaching staff by taking them to Morton's of Chicago You can't do that >Try to boost morale amongst your coaching staff by taking them to Ruth's Chris You can't do that >Try to boost morale amongst your coaching staff by taking them to Sirloin Stockade You do this. Morale is improved! >Pay with company card. Card is declined. Coaching staff morale decreases 3% after requesting split checks.