FanPost

Why KU Will BEAT Georgia Tech

Denver has already done a fantastic job of previewing the upcoming game against Georgia Technical, but I decided to throw in my own two cent. Why? Well, I’m bored at work, its Friday, and I fully believe we are going to win this game. Plus I enjoy writing "satirical" (or whatever Denver called them) pieces from time to time. Oh, and KU is going to win.

 

Yep, that’s right. KU is going to win. As in score more points that the opponent. Not convinced? Well then, here are some reasons. Sit back, relax, and have a terrific Friday. After we win tomorrow, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.

 

The Ball-Punch Test:

Want to play a fun game? Go up to someone (this works much better on a dude) and smack them in the nuts. BANG! See how they react? At first they are woozy, groggy, defeated. They roll around in pain and shame. But what happens next? They get up, recover, and then get angry. I mean really angry. I feel like that’s how KU is going to react tomorrow.

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Come out roaring. I mean, this team lost to freaking North Dakota State! Remember that girl you made out with drunk, the real nasty kind of pudgy one that your buddies made fun of you for? That’s KU football to the nation right now. What did you do afterwards? You defend yourself with excuses like I was wasted, she drugged me, etc (we have a new coach, a new QB, etc) and then you went out and relentlessly tried to get a hottie mctottie. Don’t underestimate the revenge factor with this game.

Ugly_girl_medium 

The Star Wars Test:

I try to relate as many things to Star Wars as I can because that’s how I was raised, but one moment always sticks out to me in the A New Hope. When all of the empire guys are arguing about the death star and one of them alludes to the fatal flaw, saying "it is possible, however unlikely that they will find a weakness, and exploit it." Well that weakness was found in the plans by the Rebel Alliance, and I’ve found Georgia Tech’s: the forward pass.

Georgia Tech is awful at throwing the ball. Like we throw as many picks as completions bad. Paul Johnson doesn’t like to throw it, but if KU could force some throws, it could lead to turnovers and punts. I see a Lubbock Smith Pick Six that reminds me of Luke shooting a proton torpedo into the Death Star’s exhaust port.

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Oh noez its the option offense!


The Temptation Test:

This is where it really all comes together. You see, the Georgia Tech boys are used to being on a campus with a bunch of nerds, losers and geeks. AKA no fun zone. Don’t believe me? Check out what this student wrote for his review about the school (this is an actual quote from an engineering major):

            "Georgia Tech is an institute of higher learning (with regards to engineering and technology predominantly). People who come here should accept this fact and be very sure they understand this. If one is looking to have a good time, be around women you actually want to look at (not turn away from), have walks in the park, then this is not the campus or university for you. If you set your expectations right, you won't be as depressed and bitter."

BANG BANG! So what do we do when they roll to town? Let them enjoy our loose women, endless flow of bars. Once these boys get loose they won’t stop.

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Oh and what time is the game? EARLY baby. So there you have it. Reasons why KU will win. 21-17. Excuse me while I go chug some more Koolaid.

ROCK CHALK

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