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SUPER IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS

28

The KC Star brought together three of its best and brightest to unearth THE scandal of the century: Lew Perkins is well-compensated for his job! He doesn't even fly commercial! Also, he might have an error on one of his expense reports! This has never happened before in the world of business, ever. How can Jayhawk fans sleep at night knowing this MONSTER dares to take airplanes for business trips? Why can't he just take his scooter like Saint Alden does? Or bum rides in rusted-out Chevy Novas with migrant workers from town to town like the Mensa crew working in Manhattan?

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